Close to Home by John McPherson for December 20, 2020

I would like to see just how the guys wrap that lamp. I think Bleeb is going spend Christmas with that lady.

Or he just wants a ride to the next store.

I can indeed vouch for the crappy gift wrapping. My gift wrapping invokes the words oy vey.

Is one of those guys using crime scene tape?

My notion of Hell would be year-round employment in the Gift Wrapping department. This is why gift bags were invented, thank heaven.

In my house, I am the deluxe gift wrapper.

But, where are the newspapers and brown grocery bags? That’s what I use!

My older sister is an artist and was a very creative gift wrapper when I was growing up. She taught me to wrap nicely. A good skill for a guy to have these 60+ years.

Genius! Now if I could just see them outside the Ace Hardware or the 7-11 that would be perfect.

“Crappy” wrapped gifts are better because they’re easier to open and you don’t have to worry about being careful to “save the paper”.

I do not care how badly he wrapped the present. The fact that he actually DID wrap it means much more.

It is not that hard to gift wrap. I don’t think I have eve had any problems.

“BLEEB! Get in here right now!”

“ꌩꏂꌚ ꌚꀤꋪ“

“I know where you’ve been and I know you were stirring up trouble. I saw the story on the six o’clock news about an “alien bug” running amuck in Ziffler’s Department Store… riding in people’s shopping bags, tearing open gifts… and just general grabassery!”

“You absolutely scared that poor woman half to death! Then you go and steal the lingerie right out of her bag! Just what do you have to say for yourself?!”

“ꀤ ꎇꏂꏂ꒒ ᖘꋪꏂ꓄꓄ꌩ?”

Fascinating! An idea that could be a BIG money-maker.

Guess who getting the business.

Hey! I’m a Dad and I do a great job wrapping if I say so myself.

Now there’s a marketable idea.

From Mrs. Claus: "Nu, first of the year you go on a diet !!

Happy (all 6) Holidays, Spacehoppers!!

My kids used to have a contest to pick out the gifts that I wrapped, it wasn’t much of a contest.

My wrap jobs are obvious…in a bad way.

Clayton Newman might like that service.

I remember shopping with my mom when the stores offered free gift wrapping. We’d leave our gifts there and go back in a little bit to pick them up.

Why do all the males have their teeth hanging out?