Close to Home by John McPherson for April 14, 2023

In other words it’s down the tubes.

…Ever on the sofa napping,

Napping while my toe is tapping,

Doing not a single chore—

Only this and nothing more…

“And that’s all I have to say, Mr. and Mrs. Usher! There is no way for you to put your house in order.”

the telltale heart no longer beats, even for Lenore!

You can almost hear the last heartbeats of it coming from the walls.

Once they started raven at each other it was all over.

That’s therapist speak for: “it’s turned to Ca-Ca! …and Ca-Ca means Doo-Doo!

Sshhhhhhh! (Green Plaid Alert) everybody quietly do a shot!)

“Those therapists are stark raven mad.” [You can quoth me on that.]

Bleeb’s like, “Hi, folks! Oops! Wrong chair. Excuse me, while I move over to the other chair.”

Time to move on and regroup

Shouldn’t it be “never-amore”?

Or like Joni Mitchell -“Got til it’s gone”

I had a friend who would say, “I’m getting married in MAY. MAY it never happen!”

Dump her! Get a dog! (Much more loyal)

“Next is what we therapists call the ‘Mona Lisa Years’: nothing but a wistful smile.”

And furthermore he continues, "you’re too old to raise kids, and that is what “love-life” is for, just to make kids"…

And we can say the same thing about seeing you.

That will be $250 for the counseling.

“I’m just a Poe boy, nobody loves me. He’s just a Poe boy…”

“Can’t we sit down like grown-ups and talk this out over a glass of Amontillado? I have a cask of it down in the cellar…”