Close to Home by John McPherson for May 02, 2023

Kryptonite mitigation service, an all new growth industry…

Lex Luthor owned the plumbing company that last did the repairs.

Time for a new home.

That’s why I’d never buy one of those older houses. They used to use kryptonite insulation everywhere.

I thought kryptonite was supposed to actually kill Superman, not just disable him.

Hi, Bleeb.

“Well crap! I guess it’s back to my frozen-ice-cave-thingy! I really gotta find a new name for that place!”

Love the Superman dad-bod. He must have been “super-sizing” it a little too much!

Did bleeb bring it to his house

I wonder if kryptonite cause ED in Kryptonians?

Well, for crying out loud. That must be what’s wrong with me. I’m being exposed to kryptonite. I wonder if insurance covers that?

People who have the taste sensitivity to cilantro feel the same way when they go to some restaurants… some like to put it into EVERYTHING.

Someone’s trying to zap his powers slowly…..

In the original Superman, kryptonite just took away his powers.

That explains why he’s been investing in krypto-currencies.

And the brain fog explains wearing your underwear with a belt outside your tights.

Is it the Red Kryptonite?…

Must’ve been installed by lexcorp

Lex is a TRICKY b-stard!!!

A little while longer and he would have been Stuporman.

Never rent an apartment from Lex Luther, Superman!

But is it green kryptonite?

“Kryptonite” is superspeak for Asbestos.

Kraptonite is a condition where you’re bowels keep you up all night. Rarely fatal.

Things look pretty grim in the kryptonite jungle today.

Bleeb’s holding the ladder like the good boy he is!!!