Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for November 17, 2012
Transcript:
King: You started the for-profit rumor? Zipper: Yes, sir. It was just too big a story to sit on! As the college's only tenured student, I have a responsibility to keep my fellow students in the loop. King: But... but how did you know we were going ahead with it? Zipper: I didn't. Until just now. King: Dear god... Zipper: I can't believe that worked. I saw it on some cop show.
Linguist almost 12 years ago
That wonderful Walden education hasn’t been wasted.
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 12 years ago
Hey, maybe Zip’s smarter than we ever knew! Especially if he managed to finagle a steady income from his Uncle Zonk. Here saw a cop show, remembered the plot, and now applies it to Walden president King in order to learn and perhaps profit from the info. Stay tuned.
(I don’t KNOW the income part to be a fact, but I suspect it is, since we know that Uncle Zonk won $23 million from a lottery ticket.)
Linguist almost 12 years ago
With Zonker, it ’s : " The Case of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy ".
StigBang-Mortensen almost 12 years ago
The $23 million where wasted many years ago on Uncle Duke. He was kidnapped and Zonker bought him free.
doctorwho29 almost 12 years ago
That trick usually does work
Peabody-Martini almost 12 years ago
This could result in the first time a university student gets involuntarily graduated.
billydub almost 12 years ago
The slacker scores! Beautiful!
38lowell almost 12 years ago
How old IS HE? 42?
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 12 years ago
Unlike his uncle, the renowned Malibu tannist Zonker Harris, Zipper was born and raised in Northern California. Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team. In a radical break with his forbearer and hero he is, however, occasionally dating. Zipper was co-founder, along with roommate Jeff Redfern, of myVulture.com. He made an unsuccessful attempt to download and license the real time wireless output from Dick Cheney’s defibrillator. Harris maintains a blog primarily devoted to his stop sign collection.
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 12 years ago
Above info from:
http://ext.stage.doonesbury.com/strip/cast/member/21
TheSkulker almost 12 years ago
Too funny! Still LMAO!
DylanThomas3.14159 almost 12 years ago
Note that Zipper attends Walden, “Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team.”
If Walden goes “for profit” and if the Walden College football team players start getting paid, Zipper will start getting paid. Thus, “legacy scholarship” + “wages from playing football on the Walden team” = more money for Zip. As perpetual tenured student he could be catching pigskins for pay till he’s too old to keep up and retires. Even then he might stay on as tenured perpetual student till he finally retires as Zipper Harris, perpetual student Emeratis. Meaning, perhaps, he still has access to campus facility, such as free cafeteria food, free access to the student union, discounts at the student store where he can presumably buy football sweaters to keep warm, hygiene supplies, MP3 players, laptops, iPhones and the like at a discount.
Plus, since — unlike his Uncle Zonk — he dates and is interested in girls, he just might find a tenured perpetual female student to date and share an apartment, if not get married. “Two can live as cheaply as one.”
Why does that sound so, so, uh, forlorn somehow? Because they’ll never graduate and get real jobs?
asa4ever almost 12 years ago
I asked my cousin after he received his first MA why he was still at U of MA. He said he was going for a second MA and the money from grants from the feds for ridiculous projects he was working on was better than the real world.
Jack Straw almost 12 years ago
After a brief spell of living in ostentatious luxury, Zonker blew his remaining fortune to ransom Duke from the clutches of the Zombie Cucumber, which had Duke in a catatonic state. (Even for Duke.) His first waking words, after hearing what Z. had spent to rescue him, were “You idiot!”
unanim us almost 12 years ago
Q: is [aka]Y__e[Walden] College only living by street smarts, or also teaching the skills? Zip seems fully educated on SkidRow, yet here he says otherwise. How is it that the two educational entities have so much in common?
Rickapolis almost 12 years ago
I saw that show too. I think it was Banacek.