Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 19, 2013
Transcript:
Pig: Hey, Goat. I've decided to become a superhero. My super power will be a whip that can do anything... Even perform miracles! Goat: Good for you, Pig. Where you gonna find a whip like that? You know, 'Miracle Whip' doesn't actually contain a miracle whip. Pig: Nuts. More white goop.
water_moon almost 12 years ago
ewwwwwwwww
freeholder1 almost 12 years ago
And they say it’s good to have a goal.
freeholder1 almost 12 years ago
Best to find a Miracle Max…
freeholder1 almost 12 years ago
Or vanishing cream. Or witch hazel (the magic maid). Or club foot, (on lohan’s gas pedal). Or glass jaw ( the Jewish shark). Just trying to keep the insanity going.
el8 almost 12 years ago
And his super hero name? The Marquis de Sade?
marshalljpeters Premium Member almost 12 years ago
What a waste! At least scoop it into a different container so it can still be used.
finale almost 12 years ago
Maybe the folks at Miracle Whip could use this idea as a marketing ploy.
blunebottle almost 12 years ago
Miracle Whip goes good on ham, you know………
rawcats almost 12 years ago
OMG it’s been sitting there on the shelves this whole time.
Varnes almost 12 years ago
I don’t care what it is, why go beyond salt and pepper? Spreads and sauces are fattening…OK, I’ll give you mooseturd and Catch Up, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go….
corzak almost 12 years ago
I think your Superhero idea is good, Pig, you just need to fine tune it. How about taking the name Razorback Lash, the Miracle Whip ?
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Pig, you are priceless! “White goop” captures the essence of Miracle Whip precisely! Maybe your superpower is intuition!
PICTO almost 12 years ago
Cartoon Boy deserves a good dressing down for this one……
Rickapolis almost 12 years ago
Has he ever seen a salad dressing?
Frog-on-a-Log Premium Member almost 12 years ago
knight1192a almost 12 years ago
Well, it fit’s in with the hole Croc’s “The Fantastic Four” arc. They finally have their fourth member. It’s now Paper Jam Boy, Stapler Head, Doorstoppo, and the Whipper. Paper Jam Boy, aka a Bob, whose super power is to clear paper jams from printers and copiers but whose weakness is empty printer cratridges and trusting the Water Fowler. Stapler Head, aka a Fred, whose super power is to staple papers together so they stay in nice, neat, original order so they don’t blow away but whose weakness is the powerful staple remover. Doorstoppo, aka a Frank, whose supper power is to keep doors in old houses closed in the floor isn’t level but whose weakness is doors designed no to go to the floor (like those old time saloon doors). And now the Whipper, aka Pig, whose supper power involves a whip that can do anything. Except preform miracles or make sandwiches taste good.
eddie6192 almost 12 years ago
If Rat was there, that dumb Pig would be wearing all of that white goop.
vwdualnomand almost 12 years ago
why do people put mayo on everything? just like those people who puts cheese on everything.
green8019 almost 12 years ago
people still eat that stuff?? Ewwwww………
Rainfoot almost 12 years ago
I’m rather fond of Miracle Whip and peanut butter, or MW and brunswager.
mkahn almost 12 years ago
Lol… or put it in a jar labelled “White Paint”.
jmartin1955 almost 12 years ago
Excellent
Carl Rennhack Premium Member almost 12 years ago
1) Pig’s remark on “goop” is the most accurate comment he’s ever made!2) @F6F5Hellcat—“supper power”? Were you hungry when you wrote that?!?
Sandfan almost 12 years ago
As a kid, I had many a sandwich that consisted of gobs of Miracle Whip slathered between two slices of white bread. Probably a southern poor white trash thing.
Mostly Water Premium Member almost 12 years ago
DingDongs dipped in Miracle Whip was Sooo, well, miraculous.
hariseldon59 almost 12 years ago
Suddenly I have a craving for a BLT.
corzak almost 12 years ago
Pig needs to find a certified Vocational Balrog School. His skill set is currently too weak to seriously consider participating in the intensely competitive demon market.
Number Three almost 12 years ago
Well that’s Pig for you… He’ll soon snap out of it in about a week.
xxx
99gagtx almost 12 years ago
I love the vanilla pudding in the mayo jar idea. I’ve gotta try that.
I did thoroughly wash out a brand new (empty) spray bottle used for window cleaner one time. And filled it with blue Gatorade. It was hilarious to watch people’s reactions. Works even better if you don’t do it on april fools day. People expect it to be a joke on april fools day.
singlefemalelaywer almost 12 years ago
Keep looking,pig!!!!!
pumaman almost 12 years ago
If I saw you eating what I thought was mayonnaise straight out of the jar, I’d shoot you to put you out of your misery. Mayo and Miracle Whip are of the devil.
Sherlock Watson almost 12 years ago
If you want to be a superhero right away, Pig, you should try some Reddi-Wip.
Arianne almost 12 years ago
I agree!!! That sandwich makes all the cleaning, shopping, and cooking worth it! I found mustard absolutely repulsive as a child, can tolerate it now, but it is indispensable here.
lin4869 almost 12 years ago
Shared that joke with my naturally blonde sister—LOL.
lin4869 almost 12 years ago
Never could stand Miracle Whip. Prefer mustard, Hellmann’s, or homemade mayo.
HeidiTentee almost 12 years ago
It’s good for you.
coffeemugman almost 12 years ago
Blonde moment! Pig should meet up with Hammhock from Ink Pen…That I’d like to see!
Ottodesu almost 12 years ago
I can hear Devo inside my head right now.Whip it good.
beady.el almost 12 years ago
I’ve often thought that “Miracle Whip” sounds like a superhero’s implement. Like something Jack Kirby would think of…
SuperSayian over 11 years ago
Did NOT expect that…
Ranchan over 7 years ago
Ummm…