Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for June 11, 2013

I guess you just had to be there!

Here’s what Calvin was thinking of. Not a man and not a dog but a kangaroo goes into a bar. He orders a martini and is charged $12 for it. Bartender says, “We’ve never had a kangaroo come in here before.” Kangaroo says, “Yes, and with these prices, you’re never likely to again.”

Oh that one, Calvin! I haven’t laughed so hard in years!

Grasshopper goes into a bar. Bartender says, “We have a drink named after you.” Grasshopper responds, “Why would you name a drink Bob?”

Man walks into a bar with a giant frog on his Head, Bartender looks up and says "Hey? Buddy! What the H—L is THAT!?! Frog Replies " I Dunno, it started out as a Wart on my @ZZ!

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar…….

It Could Happen!

I like those kind of jokes,my friend next door must have a hundred when he can remember any.

Typical kid telling a joke- and if you don’t laugh, their face falls and you’re an ogre with no sense of humor.

Pull my finger!

It’s like a punchline right in the gut.

I wonder where he heard it from. He probably wasn’t paying attention. Lol

Guy walks into a bar. The two following him saw this and ducked just in time.

@NUMBER SIX: It’s happened to me; I agree with you completely.Also, I had a friend who, when telling a joke, would begin by giving away the punchline.

im looking for the guy that shot my paw

A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender says “Hi Mitt.”

Three men walk into a bar, all bearded and all wearing turbans. The barman says, “What is this, some kind of Sikh joke?”

I’ve heard this one before. And I’ve told it a couple of times.

Gay deer walks out of a bar and says “I can’t believe I blew 20 bucks in there.”

Just go to show U………Some people can tall a joke and some people can’t !!

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve vegetables in here.” The mushroom replies, “But I’m a fun guy (fungi).”

The strip was good…. but the comments have been even better – thanks for the chuckles!

A guy walks into a bar with a piano entertainer, sits down and orders a beer. The piano player’s monkey soon jumps on the bar and urinates in the guy’s beer. The guy yells to the piano player, “Hey, do you know your monkey just peed in my beer?” The piano player says, “No, but if you hum a few bars, I might remember it!”

I thought the dog was a Cub’s fan.

If you can’t tell the joke right, don’t tell it at all!

I had a co-worker who started out his jokes with “True Story”. While it telegraphed that he was telling a joke, it did not give away the punch line. And he told some pretty funny jokes.

oh yeah, to quote my dad’ “If you have to explain it, it isn’t funny.”

Godd to finally see a smile on Calvin’s face.

That’s good to see a smile on Calvin’s face.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’ll have a ………… ……… ………… ……………… ….. ….. ….. beer.” The bartender asks, “Why the long paws?”

I bet Calvin would remember the dirty jokes in every detail!

That is when he’s a lot older… Or not.

LOL xxx

John Kerry rides his horse into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”Kerry says; “Well, they tell me it runs on my fath..”“I was talking to the horse !”

Now there’s this mollusk, see. And he walks up to a sea cucumber. No, wait. The mollusk swims up. They don’t have legs. No, wait. The mollusk doesn’t swim, he doesn’t walk, he just sort of stays in one place. Oh, now I’m all mixed up.

Not sure I remember what he actually says, but I wanted to take the opportunity to quote the movie that completely defines my childhood. Long live Calvin and Nemo! :)

Ooh, a quantum physics joke! Cool.

Man walks in to a bar…ouch

Sigh, I can empathize with Calvin on this one — I cannot remember jokes to save my life.

Reminds me of a gag Rosie O’Donnell used to tell about a four-year-old telling a joke. It was about 20 years ago when I heard it. Last time I ever thought she was funny.

That’s about the way I tell jokes:)

A priest, a rabbi and a nun walk into a bar and the bartender says ‘Is this a joke?’

Generally, telling jokes is a gender thing, few women can do it.Sexist? Not really. And look at dating sites. Nearly every woman requires a man with a GSOH.

POTUS walks into a bar……and just lies there.