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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 18, 2013
October 17, 2013
October 19, 2013
Transcript:
Goat: Look at those youngsters sitting at that table. Doesn't that make you feel old? Rat: Nope. Goat: Then how do you know when you're old? Rat: You use the word "youngster." Goat: That hurts. Rat: Try this next: "Hey you chaps! Get off my lawn!"
Hey, Mister, can we have our ball back? >Donât take that tone with me, young man! I fought the war for your sort. >Bet youâre sorry you won. Give us a kiss.
A really crotchety Old Man would live in a house with a front porch, where he would be sitting in his rocking chair, sipping an adult beverage, and cradling his double-barrelled 12-gaugeâŠ. Punks!
to feel old, remember when people had reel to reel machines, 8 tracks, cassette players? or, that cars had fins? or, the draft? or, tv shows like hr puffnstuff, banana splits, johnny quest? or, making $19k per year is upper middle class? or, dos, basic, qbasic, pascal, cobol, assembler?
âPut another candle on my birthday cake, weâre gonna bake, a birthday ca-ake! Put another candle on my birthday cake, Iâm another year old today!â
I had to tell the neighbor several times that I encourage her kids to use my lawn; weâre on a hill and they have no yard to speak of. I have no kids of my own, so I tell them to feel free to run around in my yard. And their dog, a Golden Retriever: needs the room. And I keep an emergency pooper scooper hanging on my deck.
Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy! Terry and the Pirates. âFaster than a speeding bullet! . . .â Steve Canyon.Charlie McCarthy. Jack Benny. Fred Allen (Mrs. Nussbaum: âYou were expecting maybe . . .â) Inner Sanctum. Corliss Archer. Letâs Pretend. Radio shows, all. TV wasnât on the home scene yet.
You know youâre old when you try coming up with terms to make being old sound not so bad so you donât have to accept it. Or when you keep trying to change middle age. Both my folks are in their 60s and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But my mom keeps saying things like you take youâre current age and multiply it by two to figure out when youâll hit middle age. Or sheâs no old, sheâs vintage because that sounds better than old.
Iâm almost in my 40s myself (next year in fact) and I live by the same Papa Smurf philosophy my grandmother seemed to live by. âYouâre only as old as you think you are.â Some days I feel like Iâm in my 70s or older, some days I feel like Iâm back in my teens. I donât care that Iâm growing older, I look at the last twenty or so years of my grandmotherâs life for that. She knew she was a senior citizen and for most of those years she tended to have so much energy and tended to feel thirty years younger than she was. She didnât try to push things like she really was thirty years younger. She accepted growing older but had that young as you think you are mentality.
âYouâre only as old as you think you are.â My philosophy is if you donât act your age, you wonât look it. Really, though, I realized I was old when the X-ray tech no longer bothered asking if I might be pregnant.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
Why exactly does wanting others to respect your property make you old?:Do âyoungâ people welcome burglars into their homes?
cdgar over 11 years ago
I think Stephan is losing it. This comic makes no sense.
Arianne over 11 years ago
Hey, Mister, can we have our ball back? >Donât take that tone with me, young man! I fought the war for your sort. >Bet youâre sorry you won. Give us a kiss.
orinoco womble over 11 years ago
âYou young whippersnappers!â is a dead giveaway too. That and quoting un-classic toons from the sixties and seventies.
I have had young kids say that Elvis Presley was a basketball player. Or ask me if Roger Moore was a singer.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
A really crotchety Old Man would live in a house with a front porch, where he would be sitting in his rocking chair, sipping an adult beverage, and cradling his double-barrelled 12-gaugeâŠ. Punks!
doublepaw over 11 years ago
We had an old neighbor who would come running across my lawn to yell at my kids who had run across his lawnâŠâŠâŠâŠ..
vwdualnomand over 11 years ago
to feel old, remember when people had reel to reel machines, 8 tracks, cassette players? or, that cars had fins? or, the draft? or, tv shows like hr puffnstuff, banana splits, johnny quest? or, making $19k per year is upper middle class? or, dos, basic, qbasic, pascal, cobol, assembler?
kd1sq Premium Member over 11 years ago
CORAL-66, PILOT, FORTH, ALGOL, FORTRAN, LISP, HASP, SNA, SDLC, EBCDIC, BCDâŠ.
BlackTie over 11 years ago
Used to be âPaul McCartney was in a band?" Now itâs âWhoâs Paul McCartney?"
BlackTie over 11 years ago
56 year old sausage fingers hit the submit button twice. Dangburn www dot world wide interweb!
Phatts over 11 years ago
âPut another candle on my birthday cake, weâre gonna bake, a birthday ca-ake! Put another candle on my birthday cake, Iâm another year old today!â
Enoki over 11 years ago
That ââŠget off my lawn!â routine works better with a rifle.
Gumbo_Limbo over 11 years ago
Is that a cardigan sweater Ratâs wearing? Arianne, I applaud the Hard Dayâs Night reference!
sallytiger over 11 years ago
Love the comments! Maybe some youngsters will learn something?
puddlesplatt over 11 years ago
I have a sign on my front yard âPERVERTâ but they still come over and make faces at meâŠsigh!
steverinoCT over 11 years ago
I had to tell the neighbor several times that I encourage her kids to use my lawn; weâre on a hill and they have no yard to speak of. I have no kids of my own, so I tell them to feel free to run around in my yard. And their dog, a Golden Retriever: needs the room. And I keep an emergency pooper scooper hanging on my deck.
e.groves over 11 years ago
Fuzzy Lumpkin.
jessegooddoggy over 11 years ago
Sigh, no crocs since Aug 1.
Gokie5 over 11 years ago
Jack Armstrong, the All-American Boy! Terry and the Pirates. âFaster than a speeding bullet! . . .â Steve Canyon.Charlie McCarthy. Jack Benny. Fred Allen (Mrs. Nussbaum: âYou were expecting maybe . . .â) Inner Sanctum. Corliss Archer. Letâs Pretend. Radio shows, all. TV wasnât on the home scene yet.
foxsinger Premium Member over 11 years ago
Talk about oldâŠwhat about lawn bowling?
knight1192a over 11 years ago
You know youâre old when you try coming up with terms to make being old sound not so bad so you donât have to accept it. Or when you keep trying to change middle age. Both my folks are in their 60s and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But my mom keeps saying things like you take youâre current age and multiply it by two to figure out when youâll hit middle age. Or sheâs no old, sheâs vintage because that sounds better than old.
Iâm almost in my 40s myself (next year in fact) and I live by the same Papa Smurf philosophy my grandmother seemed to live by. âYouâre only as old as you think you are.â Some days I feel like Iâm in my 70s or older, some days I feel like Iâm back in my teens. I donât care that Iâm growing older, I look at the last twenty or so years of my grandmotherâs life for that. She knew she was a senior citizen and for most of those years she tended to have so much energy and tended to feel thirty years younger than she was. She didnât try to push things like she really was thirty years younger. She accepted growing older but had that young as you think you are mentality.
Jml58 over 11 years ago
It is no fun growing old, but the alternative is worse.
Gumbo_Limbo over 11 years ago
Number Three over 11 years ago
Yep⊠The truth hurts, Goat.
LOL xxx
155088 over 11 years ago
MORE &%$#@ CROCS!
johnathanBing over 11 years ago
Iâm 76 years old and if Pastis showed up on my lawn I would definitely, not use a cane, more likely would be a pesticide.
JP Steve Premium Member over 11 years ago
Iâve dealt with young whippersnappers all my life. Iâve got to say theyâre mostly very nice people.
johngirard777 over 11 years ago
go too ur ice box an get a cold beer an relax
comicsnerd74 almost 10 years ago
SOOOOO true.
alantain over 1 year ago
I donât remember any old codger using the word âchapsâ. A-holes, maybe.