Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 05, 2013

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.” (George Carlin)

Just when you think Rat can’t get any more obnoxious . . .

The observation has been made that whether the glass is half full or half empty depends quite directly on whether one is pouring into it or drinking out of it. As for the related optimist/pessimist conjecture, an optimist thinks “this is the best of all possible worlds!” A pessimist is sure of it. Myself, I think I’ll have another glass of wine…

I thought Rat was the one that stole the glass of beer when you turn your back.

A pessimist sees the glass half empty; an optometrist asks if you see the glass more full like this? Or like this?

“Oh I sure do like my likker,But I see you got it quicker,And I hope it makes ya sick, ya buffalo.”(Little Joe)

Of course the glass is half empty… then you can fill it.

What are you all talking about? There is no glass! Rat has the appropriate attitude, but I am shocked, shocked I say, that Goat has misled us all into this purely speculative debate!

Optimist : half fullPessimist : half emptyOpportunist : are you going to drink that ?

The problem is the liquid – if we were talking gases, the glass would be full no matter how much gas is in it.

Scientist: It’s always full, whether it is a liquid or gas filling it wasn’t specified.

The glass is full of water and air – I reject your question and answer with reality.

Optimist : half fullPessimist : half emptyEngineer : That glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

And if you like the glass you have, you can keep it. Period. And my new liquid redistribution plan will ensure that everyone’s glass is half full by closing the water gap.

Depends upon what is in the glass. When I had to drink a solution prior to a colonoscopy, I was glad when the glass was half empty!

Narcissist: I don’t care if it’s full, empty, half full, or whatever! The glass and everything in it is MINE!

I say if the glass is being filled, It is half full, and if it is being emptied, it is half empty.

That’s true, except when it’s not. If the glass is in a true vacuum, and there is nothing in it, including gases, then it is truly empty. Was that convoluted enough? I can do better.

Oh, good, Rat’s back. Was afraid I was going to have to spend the day in a relatively good mood.

The glass is half full, of poison.

All that matters is knowing where the paper towels are.

My wife looks at it as just another dirty glass she will have to wash.

The philosopher says: the glass IS.

I hate to admit this but I totally agree with Rat today.

xxx

Better than coming back and finding your glass full…..with a slight yellowish tint and odd smell.Seen a guy do that to a jerk in Alaska in a bar. He left his beer about half full to go relieve himself. The guy he was giving a hard time to relieved himself in his glass. The jerk came back and thanked who ever it was who got him a refill.Yes…..he took a big swig. Then blew it all over the bar. The bartender threw the jerk out.And if you guess I did that, well, I plead the 5th and hopefully that jerk is not online reading this.Never leave your drink….unattended and even then make sure the attender is attending.

Optimist: The glass is half fullPessimist : The glass is half emptySurrealist: A piscine wheelbarrow

Half empty? Half full? Doesn’t matter if FREE refills are available!!

Speaking of refills, 12/05/13 marks the 80th anniversary of the end of Prohibition! How I wish I could commemorate it with a Piels or Ballantine Beer…I’ll have to settle for Coors Light!

The glass is always full of glass. What difference does it make if there’s some liquid adhering to part of its surface?

I always say that half empty means the glass and the water therein was used for its intended purpose: to be drunk, not to sit for photo opps.

There once was a Rhymes With Orange cartoon presented along that theme, in terms of three personality types:

First: “My cup is half empty.”

Second: “My cup is half full.”

Third: “Someone stole my cup!”

“You might be a little cynical.”

Goat’s only realizing this NOW?