One Big Happy by Rick Detorie for January 17, 2021

In singing class, i was told to just pretend to sing!

I don’t know if it’s true, but . . . During a Christmas service a very hard of hearing gentleman was keeping time with the hymn by banging his cane on the floor. About halfway through, he accidently thumped – hard! – on the foot of the person standing beside him, who immediately collapsed into the pew. When you have a church full of people who aren’t familiar with the service, this sort of thing results in the entire congregation gradually falling to their knees. The rector looked up to see his flock slowly disappearing, so he did the only thing possible.

He stood and announced, “Let us pray”.

In music class my enthusiasm always exceeded my talent to an astonishing degree, My voice changed early (5th grade) so I had to stand in choir and only join in when the song had a bass part, which none of the songs had until the 8th grade when it was expected that some of the boys voices would change.

What!!!! Christmas is over!!!

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord.

Like pkdphd posted “Make a joyful noise unto the Lord.”It says "Joyful " not “Harmonious.”

I once met a man who couldn’t sing. He was totally atonal while in his own head he was singing a tune. That was amazing. He sang three tunes and they all sounded the same.

“Everyone should sing. Because if the Good Lord saw fit to give you a beautiful voice, it’s a nice way to say ‘Thank you!’ And if the Good Lord didn’t see fit to give you a beautiful voice, it’s a nice way to get even.” – guest singer on A Prairie Home Companion

I became an alter boy when the choir lady told Mom I could not carry a tune in a bucket, true story

I like how you pretend that church is important. I don’t care for the implied child abuse by showing children at those indoctrination sessions. These days, although there’s a few mega churches still operating, many smaller neighborhood churches are only half full, so the scene above should have reflected that truth.

What implied child abuse?

god told me to stay out of his church!

I used to sing while I worked. Then a co-worker offered me money to stop. I was considering the offer when another co-worker piped up that they had a better idea – I would stop singing or they would employ violence to stop me. (Not in those words, of course).

I couldn’t even be mad, I know I can’t carry a tune.

Singing hymns make me feel sad, so I don’t sing them. I barely lip sync.

I can’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid.