Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 18, 2014

Give the bear a hibachi and I’ll watch it!

Might be time to either hook it or slice?

This version might actually keep me from falling asleep…

Is that bear a hazard or a caddy?

In this sport, hitting the caddy is definitely a hazard.

Remember hearing a comic say this about golf once: “It’s the slowest game in the world, and they have the nerve to use instant replay.”

The only hole I see there is the mouth of..oh oh. Does anyone finish this course?

Sport involves physical activity. Golf is a game where the players ride around in carts and the winner is the one who expends the least effort.

Each January, they set up a golf course on a lake near here…..

golf is a form of self abuse. it is a for the wankers and the tossers.

That bear needs a coke.

At least there are no gophers on the course.

it’s a lazy mans workout, and his mouth!

A relief, no sand traps.

At least the pros walk – except for the seniors.

How does poker become a sport on all these sports channels?? The card players are not moving at all.

There’s a course in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho with a hole like that (minus the ice and polar bear).

…and this tournament will go to sudden death.

Of course golf is a sport. You have to shoot it and you use an iron.

I have seen a grizzly bear on my local golf course, as well as fox, coyote and deer. I’ve not seen a moose, but others have.

Fortunately, we don’t get alligators in Yukon.

Wiley, thank you!!! You just proved my point. Ribbon on a stick with a ball is NOT A SPORT! It is the dumbest Olympic event ever!!! EVER! Thank you!

Reminds me of “Northern Exposure” when the Doc went native.

Remember that the folks who invented golf and called it a game also invented the bagpipe and called it music. Here’s to independence.

Then the Inuit decided to deport the game to Scotland. England was having no part of it, and that’s the way things stand today.

It’s called Snow Golf and happens every year in Alaska. Google Nestor Pistor plays snow golf (adult language)

In Vermont we have the Annual Intergalactic Winter Croquet competition!

Didn’t George Carlin have a routine similar to this?

I know he was not a big fan of golf.

Bruno, I don’t know about Floe, but this definitely looks like a place where Eddie could pop up at anytime….

“Oh, it’s a sport because you have to perfect the backswing, the follow-through, putting, blah-blah.”

Right…I’ll just be over here with the spirit of the late George Carlin in this world we call “reality.” Get hit by lightning and still sink a ten-yard putt and we’ll talk about it being a sport.

And he’s using a white ball on a course of snow and ice. That’s sporting all right.

Wiley: air horns and farts, and other elements can indeed be “defense” in a golf foursome, and hmm, that cash that changes hands DOES “directly affect” the opponent. You just never played with the clowns I used to.

Golf was a sport for real men when the Scots invented it. First, “links” originally meant the strip of land between a cliff edge and the fence, especially a cliff edge at the sea shore. The fence wasn’t built right up to the edge so that when a little bit of land crumbled and dropped into the sea, it wouldn’t take the fence and some sheep with it. Now, a proper Scotsman would never use good land that might be growing oats or grazing sheep for a mere game, but the links were available. One just had to watch one’s step and be careful not to walk on the crumbly bits.

Second, one also had to watch the wind and the lay of the land and be very careful when taking a shot, because the links were narrow. A little one way, and the ball would land in the sea. A little the other way, and a sheep might eat it. You weren’t going to get another ball until you sold the fleece at market after the next spring shearing – if you got a good price so you could toss away a bit of cash on luxuries.

Nowadays, wimps have ruined the sport. They take perfectly good farmland and just grow grass on it, not even letting livestock graze – and they apply so many chemicals that you really shouldn’t let livestock eat that stuff, anyhow. You can hook and slice all over the place and most of the time you’ll still get your ball back. But if you can’t find it, not to worry, you’ve got several spare balls in your golf bag, and there are more for sale at the clubhouse.

In the next hole he has to wrestle the bear.

Can’t argue checkers but you can and do play defense in chess so by Wiley’s definition it is a sport

…Or in the bear’s case… LUNCH