Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 02, 2015
April 01, 2015
April 03, 2015
Transcript:
Rat: Hey, Pig, do you want some of my burger?
Pig: I'd love some! How come you're being so generous?
One Minute Earlier
Rat: No reason.
Pig: Mmm... Tastes extra flavorful.
This sounds like some of the wait staff in this country. You’ve got waiters and waitress who are quite professional and would never do this type of thing. And then you’ve got the folks who could care less for the customers and would do it both out of spite and a twisted sense of pleasure. And don’t think they don’t exist.
Oh, Pig! I hope you don’t come down with some horrible disease!Have you no shame, Rat? This is your housemate, you know; he’ll be coughing and sneezing all over your shared dwelling. So, at least think of yourself if not of him! (I’ve always heard some folks denounce rats as bearers of disease; now I see it with my own eyes!)
Even worse is what I see when I go out for dinner. I can’t tell you how many times I watch men use the facilities, then proceed to not wash their hands. It’s going to happen one day. I’m going to look at said offender and ask him, in a loud voice, why he has decided not to wash his hands.
I actually did that last weekend. A hipster with blond dreadlocks came out of a stall and proceeded to walk to the door to leave and I asked if he was going to wash his hands. Then he said “Oh, sorry” and washed his hands. Moron.
Unless he has a urinary tract infection, pee is sterile. One could, in theory, wash and rinse in pee. I prefer soap and water, but I am strange that way…
Bilan over 9 years ago
No Reason.Coming from Rat, that’s the same as an alien saying We Come In Peace.
Templo S.U.D. over 9 years ago
So is that the origin of the so-called swine flu?
danfromfreddybeach over 9 years ago
Rat’s generosity really blew Pig away
blunebottle over 9 years ago
That’s the Rat we know and love………..
cdgar over 9 years ago
Beware Rats bearing gifts.
Keith Messamer over 9 years ago
You think Rat is being generous, but he’s snot.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member over 9 years ago
eeewwwwwwwww
knight1192a over 9 years ago
This sounds like some of the wait staff in this country. You’ve got waiters and waitress who are quite professional and would never do this type of thing. And then you’ve got the folks who could care less for the customers and would do it both out of spite and a twisted sense of pleasure. And don’t think they don’t exist.
phylum over 9 years ago
rat is slipping…he should have found wimpy…I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today..
LizardPriest over 9 years ago
So much more flavorful with that patina of phlegm-spackle.
Sisyphos over 9 years ago
Oh, Pig! I hope you don’t come down with some horrible disease!Have you no shame, Rat? This is your housemate, you know; he’ll be coughing and sneezing all over your shared dwelling. So, at least think of yourself if not of him! (I’ve always heard some folks denounce rats as bearers of disease; now I see it with my own eyes!)
whiteheron over 9 years ago
Pardon me, do you have any grey poop on?
sarah413 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Even worse is what I see when I go out for dinner. I can’t tell you how many times I watch men use the facilities, then proceed to not wash their hands. It’s going to happen one day. I’m going to look at said offender and ask him, in a loud voice, why he has decided not to wash his hands.
Rotary12 Premium Member over 9 years ago
I actually did that last weekend. A hipster with blond dreadlocks came out of a stall and proceeded to walk to the door to leave and I asked if he was going to wash his hands. Then he said “Oh, sorry” and washed his hands. Moron.
Cameron1988 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Rat’s a butthole
470063 over 9 years ago
Gross!
Saddenedby Premium Member over 9 years ago
oh yeah – a new flavor hamburger – i’m surprised rat didn’t smack the guy over the head with a bat
Sherlock Watson over 9 years ago
Did he say “burger” or “booger”?
abbybookcase over 9 years ago
rat is still in april fool mode. oh yeah. he’s like that every day
Kirk Barnes Premium Member over 9 years ago
hey! I’m eatin’ here!
Number Three over 9 years ago
Now that is disgusting!
But Pig seems to be enjoying it so I’ll not say anything.
xxx
TMO1 Premium Member over 9 years ago
Ugh. Between this and all the pun strips, I just might drop this from my daily email.
landsky over 9 years ago
Please do, by all means. But, gosh, we’ll miss you.
claire de la lune. over 9 years ago
The answer my friend / is blowing in the wind…
[Unnamed Reader - 5d506f] over 5 years ago
and on National Hamburger Day no less !
wkhibbert over 5 years ago
Unless he has a urinary tract infection, pee is sterile. One could, in theory, wash and rinse in pee. I prefer soap and water, but I am strange that way…
Guard duck is cool about 3 years ago
that is disGUSTing
alantain over 1 year ago
I’m tempted to go to a food court and yell “Wash your hands!” just to see if anyone jumps up.