Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for March 24, 2015

The sales clerk who scares away business!

Just WHO came up with that “rule of thumb” anyway?

(I’m betting on the Store Owner.)

But you don’t use a rule of thumb for something you put on your ring finger.

I’m pretty sure I can hold off the bank and utility payments for two months, but not eating is gonna be hard.

One of the MANY reasons I never wanted an engagement ring. (We bought a cubic zirconia just to show my parents.)

Dollar store, they must work for a large chain that doesn’t pay their employees a living wage.

Hey, if SHE isn’t going to last forever, why do you need the ring to? Seriously though, that “two months salary” thing was always intended for people that made a lot more than they needed in the first place.

Get a man-made diamond. They’re only about $10 a carat and are chemically and structurally the same as natural diamonds, but with way fewer flaws. Use gold for the metal though.

Rodney works for the Fink… how could they even imagine, in the first place, that they could afford to buy engagement rings at the jewelry store?

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2015/03/truth-diamonds/

Is Sir Rodney rejecting the rule, or does he make 50 cents a month?

Don’t know what year they are in but in 1967, the “rule” was only one month’s salary. Deflation paid off for us.

I used to have a gorgeous Diamonique from QVC that looked so good everybody thought it was real.

Then again, there are always cremation diamonds (several companies worldwide), made from the ashes of loved humans or pets. Some of these look pretty spectacular.

It might be less expensive to buy her a new car. You can get a Cadillac in “White Diamond”! I know because I had one…

Maybe if he had sweetened the pot by saying: “We DO have financing plans available!” Probably not, but it would have been worth a try.

Is the Easter Bunny hiding under her dress?

My guess is: you could show almost anyone a sparkly piece of plastic set in a gold-coloured metal band and setting, and they’d all say, “How lovely!” and, if it was a BIG piece of sparkly plastic, “Wow! That must’ve cost a fortune!” It’s not like we’re all walking around among gemologists. The skeptics might say, “Well, let’s see how it cuts glass”, but the rest of us are taken in by the sparkle, and don’t want to look like we’re uneducated…even though we are..My wife was wonderful: she said, I don’t need a ring; it’s just one more thing to get in the way, break, and worry about. We spent the money on nice wedding bands, and even then only about three-weeks’ salary.

" If people want to make more money, they should quit and do something that pays more."

Infamous words, spoken by somebody who hasn’t paid attention to real-world economic issues for at least the last 15 years.