Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 04, 2015

Okay, that took a bizarre turn…

Wasn’t this an episode of “V”?

Pastis, how could you? No wonder you got divorced.

Steph, you fiend!

Best not to go through the 4th wall without a raincoat.

Okay, maybe Patty did cheat. But this is looking more like a nightmare. Maybe it’s Rat’s nightmare.

Meh. Doesn’t matter. In most states (it’s changing…), it has always been that while you are married to a woomun, any child she has is yours to support. Actual biological paternity is irrelevant. In this case, however, the biological issues may be somewhat different.

Oh, dear! This is not at all what I was expecting.

This is similar to the Family Guy episode “Screwed the Pooch”; Brian was expecting another dog to have his puppies, but they all looked like Ted Turner.

BTW, this arc will probably turn out to be a dream sequence.

That is one ugly baby.

No wonder Stephan’s in a basket on the porch.

@Sherlock Watson

One can only hope it’s a dream sequence. If not, that kid is absolutely bound to join Zeeba Zeeba Eata.

Queen of America….I wouldn’t think so….but apparently, it was what Patty was expecting…. And maybe it explains the live birth….

i would have thought Larry’s wife would have had more taste than that…..

Get some help Steph

That is SO wrong!

I guess Staci had good reason to exile Cartoon-Boy to the basket on the porch! Oh, Patty, how could you? With Cartoon-Boy?!This is just wrong, so wrong, on many levels.Larry may forget about Zeeba Neighba and turn his hunger games against Cartoon-Boy!

Would have been ironic is Zeeba was the daddy, would Larry start trying to eat his “son”?

I thought Cartoon Boy spent most of his free time seducing fido.

Ha! You got me on that one, Steph. Definitely was not expecting that one. :-)

OK, Steph, how many beers did that take to get the right goggle prescription?

And now for something completely different !

Well, I didn’t think it could be done, but he finally worked reptilian bestiality into the strip!

Oh! That is a sick, sick joke.

Well, Stephan, if you wanted to get a reaction, you got it!

That was a spit-my-coffee-on-the keyboard moment!!

What a croc!

OMG Patty’s been cheating on Larry with Stephan??

This comic is not appropriate for younger children.

Oh. Never mind my Larry Jr. theory.Waaaaait, how can Stephan Croc say “Hiya, pops” if he was just born?

He is a lawyer. No problem mating with a reptile.

I thought the baby would look like Zeeba!

ummm, crap. i was hoping for a new croc, a stupid little larry. like father like son

To paraphrase what Virginia Mayo said to James Cagney in “The West Point Story”….

Thank god baby is boy – girl could never be that ugly

In ref to John Smith’s comment… maybe he was talking about interspecies gene splicing, you just assumed he was talking about marriage equality. Even if he was, is your opinion the only one that matters? People speak of equality and freedoms but are quick to stomp on someone else’s if they differ from what they think. I read your recent comments from your profile and it would seem that you don’t really have anything nice to say to anyone, just an angry little person.

Hilarious and totally unexpected. Nice one Stephan!

This does not look good on Stephen at all.

I suppose the Yahoo thing might be another explanation, though.

GASP!

AAHHHHH!!!!

Stephan, were you drinking when you wrote this?O_o

This was outstanding. Kudos to Stephan!

Call off Guard Duck and tell Queen Victoria to go nuclear (if anybody is reading this who hasn’t been following The New Adventures of Queen Victoria, shame on you)

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water to dive for some more “Pearls”……..

Another funny father would’ve been Albert from “Pogo”, but I doubt enough people remember him to make the joke work. Pity.

Apparently the Game Warden was not working that particular day!

Thanks Stephan for doing a few strips with the crocs. They are the funniest characters you have in the strip.

at least, this tells us that when pastis says his marriage is fine, and this is just a plot thread, we can be sure he means it. probably

Ha,haa,funny twist Stephen. hAAA :) Peace.

It seems both crocs and cartoonists lay eggs.

Poor lonely Stephan…….oh well….if you got to love someone………LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH…….(Good job you sly dog…..Quagmire would be proud of you. Giggity)

Too few comic strips explore animal husbandry.

That is adorable!

xxx

That’s hilarious. I never expected it. I love the Croc ones. Seems his wife has some splainin to do?

That kid reminds me of The Fly. Help me! Help me!

… which must mean that Stephan now has the head of an alligator?

You know…. back when Patty announced she was pregnant, and we were speculating as to the paternity, the comment I considered making was: You might say Patty looks a little “Rubenesque.” Could it be that Stephan let the celebration of his Reuben Award get a little out of hand? But, of course, I decided that comment was too unseemly, even for this comic strip. Sigh… I should have known better.

Seriously, though, this so seems like it’s Stephan making good on a bet he made about winning the Reuben. I wouldn’t be surprised to soon see Cyclist Jef eating a Twinkie.

Oh my…

Help meeee!

BWWAAHAAHAA!!!

It’s just a soap opera… “Crocs of Our Lives”.

Well, Steph surprised me, too, on this one.

Of course, if the new baby starts spouting out bad puns, we’re all done for.

I thought he would be surprised with twins……..

Good lord, Pastis.

What?! Out of all the possible twists, I wasn’t expecting that.Now my mind is swirling with these implications.

Stephan has become a reptile-human. Now for the rest of humanity. Then we reptoids will dominate.

HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!

That is just scary.

I need to bleach my eyes