The Dinette Set by Julie Larson for May 12, 2024

I dunno…. having this bunch as relatives should just scare it right out of you.

Burl knows the hindlick maneuver…

Miralax. But maybe they don’t sell it at Don’s Discount Drugs and Donut Dispensary.

A Heimlich maneuver for constipation ? I ain’t doing it. Bye

Time for Digital Disimpaction.

…..my, that fretful object on the T.V., hurtling towards the earth at this moment, looks like……like…..liiiiike……oh, Ma! So you FINALLY………..

Try a few White Castle burgers, always works for me. And while we know Crustwood Illinois is fictional, there would absolutely be a White Castle there.

They tried that on Ma once. You can still see the stain on the carpet. (The medicine Burl gave her didn’t work, because rat poison rarely cures constipation. Waste of effort. Ma’s too mean to die.)

TMI Ma, TMI…

I feel the Earth move under my feet

I feel the sky tumbling down

I feel my heart start to trembling

When the laxatives come ’round

I’m going to make a ridiculous suggestion. Eat fruits and vegetables.

have a hot dog with 5 or 6 sport peppers… and don’t go too far from the house…!

Time for a Triple H enema—high, hot and helluva lot.

Wrong end Burl you could scare the poop out of her