Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 12, 2016

Let’s be serious. In real life, she would have to wear PPE.

PLAY BALL!

Just a minute….Let me call New York and see if Wiley called this right…..

It’s a new infield position. She plays fullstop.

I wouldn’t pretend to be able to tell the games what to do… and in fact I don’t know how to tell the games anything…..They never listen anyway…Kinda wish secretaries would call a strike, eh?

I have tried to tell the games what to do, but the Tigers lose anyway…..

I remember recently seeing a weekend boxscore for the Expos back in the late 1970’s. Bill Lee, Steve Rogers, someone else. All three under two hours.

The pitcher balked at hiring a butler.

Hardest thing you have to do in baseball is getting past the gatekeeper.

I would tell her it is none of her business. Or that we are going to China.

They used to just have a spread after the game, now they have a reception.

“If you would like to have a confab with the pitcher, press “1” now; if you would like to dispute the umpire’s call, press “2” now; if you would like to speak with a relief pitcher, press “3” now. This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes."

Shorter?? With lawyers involved, they’ll never end!

“This receptionist moment is brought to you by Coors Beer….”

I go to a ball game to drink beer, eat a hot dog and hang out with friends. Occasionally, I’ll watch part of the game. I really don’t care who’s playing or who wins.

We’re in a minor league city so there’s no hassle parking, the cost of the ticket is cheap as is the food, the players drive old pickup trucks and there are stupid contests with the kids between innings (sometimes more interesting than the game itself).

whiteheronCircuses, but no bread. Of course they are revolting; every time democracy breaks out, the CIA makes it again safe for dictators. CIA, Chiquita’s International Army, putting bananas back in Banana Republics. (In the old days, they used USMC for that.)

reminds me of a teacher I had in 5th grade, nobody ever got anything by her!!!!!!!!

I like the idea of timing between plays. Thirty seconds is plenty of time for the players to get back into position after the ball is considered no longer in play.

… and that’s just to get to the lawyer!

They could’a just send a text.

whiteheronNo, but jokes can have a reinforcement of either, particularly ethnic prejudice.