Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for November 21, 2024

If George Bush did, it would explain a lot.

Here’s the underlying image file, which is just a little more readable than the scaled version that most of us see in the webpage:

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The best fortune cookie I ever got said “You are contemplative and analytical by nature” So I thought to myself, ‘I wonder what that could mean?’

We have a tradition called the “Lame Fortune Contest”. The one with the lamest fortune wins. 9 times out of 10, it’s me.

Just before my wedding, I got a fortune that said “You’ll have a happy lot in matrimony.” It came true for 30 years, until death did us part. I still have the fortune.

Have some fun reading reading fortune cookie fortunes. Whatever it says, add the words “in bed”. It works almost all the time, turning the meaning into something truly hilarious. Example, “people are saying good things about you”………

“Tomorrow will be like today, and the day after tomorrow will be like the day before yesterday. I see your remaining days as a tedious collection of hours full of useless vanities. You will think no new thoughts. You will forget what little you have known. Older you will become, but not wiser. Stiffer, but not more dignified.”

Apollonius of Tyana in 7 Faces of Dr. Lao

The worst fortune was from “ Rocky’s Modern Life”- “ bad luck and misfortune will follow you all your pathetic like”

Well, that was oddly specific… ☺

SOMEBODY has been listening to too much country music.

Sounds like too many politicians to note

What former success? It can not be Opus’s cookie.