Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 14, 2016

Let’s see – game vs Central City, player named Hiatt, conflict ensues?

p4: And if he’s in jail, the stress might hurt my batting average. So yeah, I’m upset.

Barry forgot to brush his breath with Dentyne.

P1, The news causes Young Master Bader to immediately reach into his pants.

P2, Yo, Barf, don’t let your meat loaf! Yeah Bader, don’t let your hot dog stand!

P3, Wow, sorry Master. PULL yourself together, pal. Yeah, HANG in there, buddy. C’mon Master, now’s the time to keep IN TOUCH with yourself.

And now for a little musical interlude, sung to the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming (Somehow appropriate.) To Town.

You Bader not pout,You Bader not cry,Milford just lost I’m telling you why,Master Bader plays for himself.

He’s making a fist,Pumping it twice, Knows that it’s wrong but God it fells nice,Master Bader plays with himself.

He pulls it when he’s sleeping,He tugs when he’s awake,He knows if it’s been bad or good.When his underwear’s all caked.

Ewwwww!

You Bader not look,You Bader not see,Master don’t care if everyone knows,Master Bader plays with himself!

In all reality, @ The Brown Starfish definitely the MVP of 2016 your posts today belong in the Hall of Fame . What a sick sense of humor, it’s classic. Thank you !

Hmmm…..your Dad got a DUI and you think it’s not fair? Since it’s not football season, the team can’t tape young Bader to the goalpost like Jamar “The Ghost” Gaddis several years ago. If Bader has a slump, toss him in the team dryer like Dave Concepcion of the 1970’s Cincinnati Reds. Hopefully Mop can incorporate your musical talents in today’s MUT BStarfish.

To the Brown Starfish: After reading your work, I would say, don’t quit your day job……………….

This seems like the kind of thing I would have tried to hide from my teammates. Barry has less impulse control than Jaxon.

We’re so sorry that your old man is a LOSER!!!!. Heck, I hope Judge Hiatt throws the book at him and he gets that maximum sentence.

I’m pretty sure Barry’s towel in P2 would retain that same shape if he walked away and left it.

At first I thought it was a good line, “some stupid cow of a judge,” like something a teen would say to insult a woman. Except he never saw the judge and doesn’t know it’s a woman. In that case, it is a really dumb outburst. And enough with the Darth Bader jokes. It wasn’t that hilarious, are they just going to pound us with that day after day for the whole season? Geez, show some imagination and come up with something else. And speaking of imagination and not overdoing a gag, it’s time to check out the 35th time Mopped Up Thorp jokes about Master Bader’s “hobby”. Maybe next week we’ll see Mr Reality get hit by a car for the 50th time, another frog crotch reference, make fun of bald spots…

P-1: Gil Thorp as a Graphic Novel doesn’t justify the wasted ink.P-2: How did the pantsless guy in the middle make it past the censors?P-3: Barry Bader offends both Jews and Muslims with his “ham” over acting.

Judge Haitt to Master Bader; “Have you ever been in a Turkish Prison?”

If anyone is looking for the perfect gift for our hero Master Bader, go to JERKSHIRT.com and order one now. This, unfortunately, is real. Funny video explaining the concept though.

@The Brown Starfish: Sometimes I worry about you. Uh, um, just how did you come across that site?

Poor choice of terms there