Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 17, 2016

Stephan, I think you’re just showing off that you know how to use “onus” in a sentence.

If he used “anus”, the censorship guy would show up!

Groanus.

Stephan had to bring up sports?

Pastis lays another pun onus.

Those of you who were complaining about the “drone wars” story line for the past week: I’m blaming you for this.

A lowness onus bonus…..Stephan you are a shoe-in !

Pig, that’s probably really valuable!

One version of this card sold for $2.1 million a couple of years ago, so there is definitely an onus involved.

Groan! — us

I wonder if Pig’s mother will throw it out.

He’s Royalty now! Instead of Your Highness, he’s called Your Lowness.

That’s an ohNOnus factor of at least 10.

Cartoon-Boy is crusin’ for a bruisin’. All-time top SS, Wagner had a great year in 1909. Maybe his spirit could bat some better puns and jokes out of Stephan….

Honus Wagner is pronounced" Hahness", so technically the pun doesn’t rhyme.

BZZZZT… Pastis fail. “Honus” is pronounced “hon-us,” not “hone-us.” It’s short for his real first name, Johannes. [Yo-]hon-us, get it?

Young Pastis, even though not actively practicing, is continuing to show that lawyers like to cause pain…

Maybe Stephen needs a bonus, or a loanus

Typical lame-ass punning once again. Lowest form of humor. And pathetically self-referential, too. No other comic strip writers sink to this level. Pastis is a near-genius cartoonist when he wants to be, but he takes the low road again and again for no good apparent reason.

if only the friend was named Lonus

Just a note on this one. Even in 1909, Honus Wagner had convictions against smoking, both health-wise and spiritually. He humbly asked the cigarette company to remove him from the line, and they obliged him. His great year, combined with the fact that only a few of the cards made it to sale before they pulled them, makes this card one of the most expensive of all time.

I keep thinking, “He can’t get any worse…” Have mercy onus!

The pun is mightier than the word.

…while he left CONUS?

It hurts, groaning and laughing at the same time.

Kick him in the onus!

At least 5 of the commenters need to Google “pun” and read several examples. It’s tiresome to so frequently see this confusion with other forms of word play.

The nice thing is you can tell one of his puns is coming in Panel#1, and just skip it and hope he does better tomorrow. He usually does!

Love it!

xxx

Moan- [from]-us. I think Stephan stays up at night making these up. Caught me off guard…once again. I LOVE it! :D

Technically, the pun still works. Honus is pronounced “hay-nos,” which sounds like “heinous.” The pun could have a different meaning here.