Bloom County 2019 by Berkeley Breathed for November 30, 2016

And if he thought he was talking about a turkey, I got news for him… they’re not flightless.

If you see a coin on the floor, Opus… just leave it there.

Mmmmm, anchovy marmalade. Mmmmmmmmm. Can’t ya just smell it now?

I don’t think he’s prepared yet.

Oh yeah. Week’s delay.

I can imagine Opus used one of his turnip twaddlers, binge purchased from a late night infomercial, to make that yummy radioactive looking anchovy marmalade. I’ll bet it’s great on curried squid.

Hey Opus, don’t drink any of the tea that Bell had at Granny’s.

You’ve gotta admire Breathed’s gift for inventing his own special vernacular. And this week, I’d swear Lewis and Fry were doing their best to honor him in Over the Hedge.

The mayor of Seattle pardoned a Tofurkey this Thanksgiving…

I am absolutely rigid in horrorified anticapation!!

Hoopenheimer?

A few weeks ago I was in martial arts class. Sensei was teaching us about how to disarm a gun-wielder. He said you could distract him by saying something crazy. When my turn came, I pretended to hyperventilate and screamed, “MY WATER BROKE!!” I stunned everyone in the dojo, including Sensei. Took a while for everyone to get a hold of themselves…and for me to stop laughing. To be fair, I do have a belly in front of me and can pass for a pregnant woman. If, heaven forbid, I should wind up in that kind of situation, I’ll be using that distraction.

About the Anchovy Marmalade, of course!

Hey, Fatbird, wise up, before folks start looking for your hoopenheimer….

(Pause. Pregnantly.)

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww, anchovy marmalade!

About that “plumped-up flightless fatbird bird in need of a good stuffing up his hoopenheimer.” I think he may have arrived.

The joke here, of course, is that Opus for once completely failed to notice a pregnant pause.

Farm turkeys can’t fly, wild turkeys can. In my youth I had the privilege of seeing a whole flock take off from the top of a hill. There must have been 50 of them.

And today’s comic strip, boys and girls, is brought to us by the phrase “Self Unawareness.”