Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for March 04, 2017

I couldn’t do that when I was Calvin’s age because the phone connection was hard wired.

Must be school or what?

I used to do that when I worked the graveyard shift.

House phone is a mobile in my nightstand..

if your’re not in it’s list, it clicks over to it’s full mailbox.

I love the way Watterson draws this strip, with the phone jumping into the air when it rings and the TV also jumps around when it’s on.

I would do this more often, but then I forget to plug it back in. People should do this more often generally.

Disconnecting the wall plug doesn’t disconnect the call though. I discovered this when I got a call from an older lady who was supposedly enquiring about a magazine I used to work for. I explained that I was no longer involved with it and she just hung on and talked. I pulled the wall plug but when I reconnected it a good 10 min later she was still there. Still talking.

I always turn off my cell phone when I go to sleep, and, if I feel like it, I turn it back on when I wake up :)

The home phone is plugged in to a VOIP box powered by Google Voice. It’s free and Google does a decent job weeding out most of the phone spam.

Some ways to answer and maybe even have a few seconds of fun:

You have reached the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How may I place your call?

I don’t have a computer. No! I don’t have one! I am a LUDDITE!!!

[To imaginary person] Hey, Eddie, it’s another one of those phony computer guys. You want to start the trace now?

For more fun begin talking gibberish as if you are speaking a foreign language, using ‘words’ in ‘sentence’ form, with pauses and changing voice level. Or use any foreign language in which you are fluent.

Pick up receiver or push talk button and begin tapping randomly on the voice box. Also wish I could find a recording of a fax machine to play back.

Usually any one of these brings as short silence on the other end, then ‘click,’ which is one desired response. The first, third, and fourth usually bring long grace periods of silence for up to a month or more before the same scammer tries again from a new number list.

But, most of my irritation concerning these calls is directed at the phone carriers, who use all kinds of algorithms to winkle out information about my ‘interests’ and my private life, but can’t seem to devise one which would identify the hundreds of ‘robo’ calls made from a single source or to nail scammers who spoof numbers.

Of course, if it reduced their profit margin, they would be on it in an instant.

Sometimes, I would like to do that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50&list=PL4A6AABB13C70A1C7

prank response

There’s another strip where Calvin keeps a balloon by the phone, and when the caller starts talking, he pops it and yells, “I’ve been shot!” I always wanted to try that.

Best way I’ve ever found to shut up a cold-caller: When they start the spiel, say very loudly, “Wait, wait! I have a question!” They think it’s about what they’re selling, so they say “Go ahead.” Then you say, in a too-bright, too-happy breathless tone, “Did you know Jesus died for your sins?”

Silence. Silence.

Click.

And they don’t call back.

About 15 or 20 years ago, comedian Jim Florentine had a whole series of I think 5 or 6 CDs — “Terrorizing Telemarketers” — of him pranking telemarketers he got to call him. He would later use some of the same characters, certainly “Special Ed” (who liked to yell “Yay!” a lot), when he was part of the the Crank Yankers TV show that actually placed prank calls, I think from Nevada where there weren’t specific laws against it like in most other states. (That’s why his own CDs involved only him receiving calls instead of making the calls himself.) Sometimes the telemarketers would unintentionally add to the humor with their revolting behavior, like asking Special Ed to go find his mommy’s purse with all her credit cards!

Uh oh, spanking time when Mom and Dad find out.

I never respond to unknown numbers, but just write down the caller ID and check it out on the internet. Some numbers have shown up with pages of complaints! Incidentally, lift and drop the receiver does not work – it merely lets the caller know it’s a working number.

It never occurred to me, but Calvin really doesn’t have any friends, does he? I don’t remember a single kid ever visiting him or talking to him at school, or even any neighborhood kids (a la Peanuts), other than Susie or the bully.

When my phone rings I ask myself: “Is there anybody I want to talk right now?” If my answer is “No” then I just ignore the beast.

If it is for me it usually isn’t someone I want to talk to anyway.

This reminds me what we went through. Though then my mom was very much alive she put call marketers to shame. When she passed last year from cancer I do not answer phone call’s that much. Caller ID helps. I guess my mom not figured how to call from heaven. Passed last August from cancer and Dementia. She went blind towards the end.

We had hard wired telephones back in 1967 ? who knew ? I am officially old!

Re my reply to someone (which I now can’t find and don’t remember the original poster’s name) I checked snopes.com and they said it was “unproven” that scammers could use someone’s voice for fraud. But I still don’t answer them. I will answer the call (because I have many friends and relatives and don’t have all their numbers memorized) but when I realize it’s a telemarketer, I just hang up without speaking.