Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for February 01, 2018

Is your food tasting good? Do you want anything else? Is your food tasting good? Do you want anything else? Why cannot I stop pestering you for a few minutes? Because some billionaire owner somewhere says it is customer service…

Arlo: Why do you feel like an old grouch? As Obi Wan said, “Trust your feelings.” You are indeed becoming a grouch as you approach your dotage. It happens to most men as they age.

The best servers are casual but know how respond to body language; being a pest is not good customer service!

Not all “service” is actually service.

But in one restaurant experience I fondly recall: I hadn’t been there before, so I kept looking around… at the decor, etc. Not once did I see a waiter. Then, when I wanted to ask for more water in my glass, he was suddenly standing beside me with a pitcher.

We were eating at the Almond Tree in Ocho Rios, Jamaica; tiny table just big enough for 2. Just after we were seated, the waiter somehow hit a water glass he’d just filled – hit it with the pitcher IIRC; the glass broke – and before the water got to the edge of the table, the maitre ‘de was there; together they picked up the table, moved it away, grabbed the next one over & set it down between us. Now _that’s_ waitering!

“All art is knowing when to stop.” Toni Morrison. Even waitering.

“All art is knowing when to stop.” Toni Morrison. Even waitering.

I like the restaurants where the wait staff sort of stand guard, each waiter/waitress/alt-sex person keeping a close eye on their tables but not hovering over them.

The whole tipping thing is iniquitous. Wait staff should be paid a decent wage to begin with so they have an incentive to do a good job.

Got to read the hints given by a customer. When waitering long long ago, the customer held up a large number of bills and said they would be the tip if I only came to the table before dinner when he or his date held up an empty drink glass. I took the hint.

Why can’t we have a system where each table has a flag attached, like a mailbox, and when you need your waiter you raise your flag. When waiter arrives, waiter lowers flag. It could even be automated/digitized so management would have a record of how long the flag was up.

I had a waiter once who started asking me if I was going to give him a tip even before I placed the order…and kept asking….needless to say he got nothing…..should’ve reported him bud didn’t.

The servers usually hover around, interrupting, until we want the check. Then they are nowhere to be seen. Sometimes I’ve had to stand up like I’m leaving before they will bring the check.

It always happens that I have a mouthful of food when the server comes by to ask how the food is.

Service in CO is outstanding. Efficient and personable. The restaurant show was taking requests for “exceptional service.” I couldn’t come up with one because they are all exceptional. Not always so in other parts of the country (Wisconsin for example.)

If (s)he keeps my coffee cup or glass of iced tea filled, that’s my measure. Just don’t interrupt if I’m talking.

If I get called “hon” one more time by a 20-something waitress, I’m going to barf.

I was on vacation once in New York and stopped at a Denny’s of all places. (I was desperate.)

But the waitress was excellent, even though her manager was continuously on her back the whole time I was there. She always had a smile for me (and her other customers as well).

She even put little hearts over her i’s.

Because of her manager, I asked her for a blank piece of paper and a pen.

I wrote “open when you get home” on the paper and folded it so it looked like an envelop with the messages visible.

Inside, I placed a hundred dollar bill.

I noticed that she was also running the cash register, so I went to pay for my meal and handed her the note and whispered, “Put this note in your pocket and do me a favor”.

She asked, “What?”

I said, “After the door swings shut behind me, turn around and announce to the other waitresses and your boss, ‘The bastard didn’t leave me a tip.’”

After the door shut, I heard her muffled voice yell, “What a bastard! No tip.”

I hope she was happy when she opened the note.

I like it when they ask if I would like a to-go cup of my drink.

I often request a, “Get out of our restaurant cup.”

“Oh, you mean a To-Go cup?”

We tend to go to buffet restaurants as we have diet limitations and can pick and choose what we can eat easier and without an order being messed up. But even there one has beverages served and the table bussed, by a waitperson. Husband will tip more than he would (%wise) than he would at a full service if the waitperson is good as he feels they are doing more work than a normal waitperson as there are always multiple plates of food for them to clear off. One of the places we go (in another state) has such excellent service – but no tipping is allowed and only an 8% service charge added – We always feel sorry that is all the waitstaff receives.

We tend to go to buffet restaurants as we have diet limitations and can pick and choose what we can eat easier and without an order being messed up. But even there one has beverages served and the table bussed, by a waitperson. Husband will tip more than he would (%wise) than he would at a full service if the waitperson is good as he feels they are doing more work than a normal waitperson as there are always multiple plates of food for them to clear off. One of the places we go (in another state) has such excellent service – but no tipping is allowed and only an 8% service charge added – We always feel sorry that is all the waitstaff receives.