Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for April 10, 2018

Very predictable, either that or a depth charge.

Dive, dive, dive!

Middle-Aged Mental Pause !

Up periscope!

“Das Boot”!

And this is the point in the movie that my son and I look at each other and say…

“We could totally write this sh…stuff.”

Next is the scene where they’re running silent because they can’t engage the enemy and a crewman drops a wrench.

When I first got The Western Channel, my son (then 14 or 15) came in while I was watching one with Gabby Hayes as sidekick to an actor named Tim something (they did a lot together, and I used to know the full name, but the day is young & I’m not…..).

“What’s going on here?” quoth the youngster.

“Gabby is cheering while Tim fights the bad guy. They’re about to fight their way to the top of that oil derrick; then Tim’ll punch him, he’ll fall on the detonator, the dynamite will go off, and they’ll strike oil.” relies Dad.

“You’ve seen it before?”

“Nope.”

“Then how can you know that??”

“It’s a cowboy movie; there’s rules, kid!”

“Yeah, right.”

At which point Tim (having fought the bad guy to the top of the derrick) throws one last punch; said miscreant topples onto the plunger, the dynamite goes off, and here spews the dino juice.

“How many times to I have to tell you, boy? Dad knows everything!”

“Shut up.”

Has the corpsman done the emergency appendectomy yet?

For the RBM (really bad movies) my husband and I make a list of who we think are the ‘red-shirts’ and cross the names/roles off the list as the film rolls on and the people are mowed down. Winner gets a back rub.

“We’ve got about two more hours of oxygen, Captain.”

Then the enemy drops a depth charge, it explodes and every pipe in the sub begins to spew water or steam while the hapless crew turns valves and wrenches on fittings till the leaks all stop at once. Now with all propulsion lost the sub settles on the bottom as the crew faces their fate. With the hull creaking and groaning someone in the crew realizes that if they just shoot the laundry out the torpedo tube the sub will rise to the surface. Yay!!!!

Want to see a boring, predictable, cliche-ridden movie? Go see “Acrimony.” It was just painful.

April 10th, 1963 – One hundred twenty-nine American sailors and shipyard workers die when the submarine USS Thresher sinks at sea.

When do we get the giant squid scene?