Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 24, 2018

Pig, consider yourself lucky. Now, go take a shower.

No worse than wallowing in the mud.

Or the bird of bad fart-on-a-head? (Sorry…)

I’ve seen some folks claim a bird defecating on you, typically your shoulder, is good luck. The hosts of most of the shows I’ve seen this on typically look more like they feel it’s the exact opposite. Maybe they’ve met this bird.

how much worse can it get after a bird splatting on your noggin?

No doubt, retaliation from Queen Victoria.

Not exactly the “Bluebird of Happiness” here; more like the “White Bird of Crappiness” it would seem.

♫ “May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose…” ♫

Is that a Foo Bird?

It’s a good thing pig didn’t look up. Splat-tastic!

’Question: What is the white stuff in bird poop?

Answer: That is bird poop, too.’

… from Kurt Vonnegut, ‘Timequake’

Wow! How many Pig Stys have Drop Lighting? or, do birds always fly Indoors in Pastisrhoidia?

Lesson Learned – it’s better to keep your mouth shut and don’t look up!

That happened to my wife once when we were vacationing in Italy.

If Pig had his CHL, it might be time to see if that bird tastes like chicken.

Does that white bird defecate by orange tweets? known by the hashtag, the Poop-in-Chief?

Could have been worse. It could have been The Elephant of Bad Fortune Ahead

“LOOK, UP IN THE SKY!”

“IT’S A BIRD!”

“IT’S A PLANE!”

SPLAT!—-

“…it’s a bird…"

Too bad it didn’t happen to Rat

well…poo on me..

Once at our local beach, I found a primo parking spot up front, under a street lamp. Lesson learned: the seagulls perch on the lamp. From the beach straight to a carwash.

Tacky, Pastis. Gooey, too.

Oh man, an omen. If the shoe fits, wear it.

That’s enough for now but that get things “moving”! OR This moment brought to you by a movement!

Another Pastis diamond. His mind must work in ways we will never understand!

Holy s@#$!

Guy is sitting in a bar next to a pirate. He notices that the pirate has a hook where , a peg leg, and an eye patch. He asks, forgive me for asking, but how did you come to lose a hand, an eye, and a leg? The pirate replies, well me leg was the first to go. A cannon shot took it clean off. Me hand was lost a few years later in a duel with cutlasses. I see says the man. And the eye? I was laying on a beach and a seagull pooped on it. You lost your eye because of seagull poop? It was me first day with the hook.

Yep. It’s an omen pigeon!

Being pooped on by a bird means you’ll get visited by Sam and Ella.

That message was brought to you, Pig, by the famous Foo Bird. And you know what they say….

Pig knows what about birdly squat?

The latest scoop about the latest in bird poop.

Pig got a head hit from a bird loaded with dead ……..

I remember when Stephan Pastis couldn’t get away with poop jokes about 10 years ago (he couldn’t even use the word “poop”), but it looks like he can now publish a comic showing Pig getting bird pooped on. Well done, Steph! Honestly, I wonder how Dav Pilkey could get away with that kind of stuff in his Captain Underpants books…

Oh, big deal! One little bird! I got bombed by a whole flock of geese! Canada geese! Grass-eating Canada geese! Eeeewww!