FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for August 20, 2018

maybe not just a towel, but telephone a tiler to replace the kitchen floor

A little late for a towel (not that a towel would survive anyway). Might as well just let it eat all the way through the foundation, and then repair it all at the same time.

No Xenomorph comment from Jason?

That’ll put hair on your back.

Hey Doc, is your recipe for DTWFNC that old?

It pours doesn’t it. What else do you want?

I don’t drink coffee myself, so the first time I offered to make coffee for my girlfriend, I asked her how. She said to put one scoop of coffee and two cups of water in the coffee maker. I put two scoops of coffee and one cup of water. She drank it without complaining, but when I asked her how it was, she said it was “a little strong”.

5 scoops per pot. I mix espresso with the regular coffee to get something that is strong enough to wake me up.

My kind of coffee….

Or you could be proactive and grab a towel for him, Jason.

I once worked on a government project where I had to specify a piece of avionics equipment where the control panel that would be mounted on the console between the pilot and copilot.

Pilots are not supposed to pass coffee or any other liquids over the console. My engineer and I combed the Military Standards for a test where coffee is spilled on a control panel. We were looking for Mil-spec coffee, but there is no such thing. Nor is there a test for it. So we wrote the “Military Specification Splash Test.” – Our contribution to the bureaucracy.

So get one, boy!

When I was in the Navy, I was sent TAD to CINCPACFLT to fix their communication problems. My Commander assumed that women made the coffee, and assigned a young, female Lieutenant to make the coffee in a 40-cup coffee maker. She put in 40 cups of coffee. That got her out of that Duty. Don’t assume that was quite smart on her part. She was rather a dingbat.

gotta get me some of that!! especially for Monday mornings

A good cup of coffee is one you can float a horseshoe in; a GREAT cup of coffee is when the horseshoe melts…

If either of them had read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, they’d already have a towel.

Does that cause ulcers or remove them?

Not strong enough, I can still see the bottom of the cup.

I haven’t seen anything like that except molecular acid.(from ALIEN)

Rossiyanam nuzhen tochnyy retsept etogo kofe!

“Alien” coffee?