Monty by Jim Meddick for September 12, 2018

At least he seems to have gotten the quote right.

Send inquiries to the Goodman Theatre in Chicago.

Ask for Del…

Did you ever think to remove the batteries, stable genius?

Whenever I read Sedgwick’s words, I hear them in the voice of Martin Prince of The Simpsons.

Only time he took something seriously.

Jarvis ! How could you, half my kingdom for a real skull.

Looks like that skull with the swirly eyes from Red Meat is moonlighting here…

It was in the original Klingon

Somebody pour a flagon of Rhenish on that kid’s head.

I think Jeff Dunham is missing his Achmed.

There are at least two real human skulls in very close proximity but for Jarvis’ sake, I hope the kid doesn’t realize that.

“What does it take to get a real human skull around here?”

Well, last I heard, China was still executing political dissidents. Try your local Chinese consulate. They’re probably willing to sell almost anything.

just take the batteries out you smarmy sociopath

If you hadn’t pressed the “talk” button, Sedgie, the skull would have remained silent. (Surely, Jarvis did not activate it by remote control. Jarvis wouldn’t do such a thing to the Young Master who only recently was about to replace him with Jrvz 2.0?)

I love me some Christmas Tree Shop goodies!!!