Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 18, 2018

If you go riding in the evening, you can stop for burgers and milkshakes.

Pig’s on a roll!

{face palm}

Pig is moping about his weight.

The Oscar Mayer hot dog vehicle … and Pig sings as he mopeds:

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner; That is what I truly wish to be; Cause if I were a Oscar Mayer weiner; Everyone would be in love; Oh everyone would be in love; Everyone would be in love with me!

But for a pig, you’re in just the right shape

(at least that what us bacon lovers think).

See if Jef the bicyclist will ride with you to Cinabon

Pig don’t forget your “Diet Soda”…….

Well, at least he is aware of the issue and doing something about it. That’s always a start! Yay, Pig!

Bologna….

Get the Cin-a-Sticks pig, much easier to eat while you’re moped-ing.

Your weight is determined by a balance between the calories you consume by eating and the calories you use through exercise, daily chores etc. If you consume fewer calories than you use, you lose weight, but if you consume more calories than you use, you get fat. So, it should be obvious that the best way to lose weight and get thin is liposuction.

Yes, you need the carbs and fat to fuel your workout.

Well, revving the engine burns a couple of calories!

Kawasaki lets the cinnamon Rolls

Pig reminds me of myself: A good workout makes the beer go down nicely.

Mopeds used to have bicycle pedals, to help them get started. If you were out of gas and desperate, you could make some distance cranking them, but it wasn’t fun.

I saw a thing that converts your regular bike into a stationary bike. I wonder if it will work with my ebike…

I love cinnamon rolls!! And that’s all I have to say.

Reminds me of the Rodney Dangerfield bit: “My doctor says I’m in bad shape – I wanted a 2nd opinion and he said, ok, you’re ugly, too! So, the doc told me to walk 5 miles a day for a week. I called him and said, ‘Hey doc, I did what you said but I’ve got a real problem – I’m 35 miles from house!’”

Since I’m a “Jef” type, my rule on pastries is only if the ride is 60 miles or longer. Nothing like a convenience store Blueberry Ugly.

We love you Pig!!!!

Stop whenever and wherever you like, Pig. Cinnamon rolls are an excellent choice for breakfast.

My baloni has a first name. It’s Bobby. My baloni has a second name. It’s Jenki——nson. Oh, he loves to talk it e v e r y day and that is why I like to say Bobby Jenkinson has a way with B A L O G N A!

I used to go on long bike rides. I had a Honda…