Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 29, 2018

And yet, I still feel better about Pig “wasting” his wish than if Rat had gotten the opportunity to make the wish.

I would hate to know what Pig’s other two meaningless wishes will be.

I’d wish for the bags inside boxes of Rice Krispies to open up with a small pull and have it pour out easy with no mess.

There’s always the old “I wish for an unlimited number of wishes” ploy. But the genies are probably wise to that one, and it’s forbidden in the fine print somewhere.

He could have wished for a butler that is good at tearing things.

That leaves me feeling all teared up!

Pig being Pig he had to go for the food ……..give me the CASH !

Is there some kind of hidden, computer Nerd jab here?

I’ve come up behind taxis with the ‘open here’ written on the trunk access point. I’ve also imagined getting out of the car and naively attempting to follow the instruction, a wound up taxi driver getting out and yelling “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!”

I remember years ago there was a snack that had a bag so impervious that it couldn’t be opened easily. People complained voraciously and they had to change it.

Should have wished for something bigger, like unlimited cheese!

Can you say, “Scissors,” ?

Yay….success

As a victim of those packages I am grateful to Pig for that wish!

2nd wish, a continuous supply of ur favorite dip.

Oh, Pig

Wish for a lion with spots and call him Tear Along, the dotted lion.

Amen.

Wish for a beautiful genie of the opposite sex that was deeply and unselfishly in love with you.

It’s the little things that really matter (a billion little things :)

One would think someone would have invented a pull tab bag by now. I just keep scissors out.

Speaking of potato chips… can he wish for chips being in more than half the bag?

It always occurs to me that the people who make these things never use them…..or they would improve them.

What I hate are the bags of chips that come with a vertical starter cut at the top of the bag. Like, who wants to tear down and open the side of a bag of chips? We want to tear across.

I would wish that Capitalism had parity and upper limits, like the grades its aficionados like to compare it to.

I’d be happy with that wish…

Actually, that’s not a bad wish, Rat. Numbers 2 and 3 should be electronic privacy and truth in all advertising.

oh, so many wishes, too much choice!

I think Pig chose his wish well! Besides being a boon to us all, it does no harm (unless you eat too many potato chips). I bet the djinn found it refreshing, too!

Sadly, as meaningless as this oughta be it’s actually getting to be a good wish. I’m getting tired of food companies having a “tear here” on the packaging and either they double sealed the thing so you’re tearing off the outer seal but find that the inner seal (which too often is just barely above a ziplock style reseal so that when you do get out a knife or scissors to open the blasted thing you eith have difficulty opening it when you zip it closed or you’re foced to eliminate the ability to zip it closed altogether) prevents you from getting in OR they failed to put that crucial weak point in for tearing there. For it to happen once or twice out of say fifty to a hundred times you by that item I can by as the machine did not put a slight tear in that spot to make tearing there possible. But I’m had some items that every time I get them and try tearing in ANY spot including the one that says to tear there all I end up doing is mangling the package. In the end I have to resort to using nail clippers or a pocket knife to put in a tear that oughta allow even a five year old to open the package.

I wonder if the Monkey’s Paw will strike this wish?

Oh man, that’d be my wish! Those things are so annoying!

Ever hear of scissors?