As noted, there has been ongoing and substantial staffing attrition in Tяumpworld. I believe it may be time, once again, to update and post the following:
SINKING SHIP SEEKS RATS:
• Are you a lawyer who’s down on his or her luck?
• Would you like your choice of hundreds of crimes to defend?
• Did you skip most of the classes on legal ethics in law school?
• Can you write fiction “on the fly” and discover “alternative facts” extemporaneously?
• Are you fluent in Russian and are you loyal to Mother Russia?
• Have you ever been on TV, or, better, played a lawyer on TV?
• Do you have Fox pundit experience?
• Do you have experience laundering money and/or intimidating witnesses?
• Do you have an unblocked Twitter account?
• Can you indulge and counsel an unstable and obviously guilty client who is pathologically unable to follow advice?
• Can you be obsequious, fawning, and dog-loyal beyond all reason to your client?
• Can you always believe in and advocate for your client’s “truth,” even though that “truth” was completely different yesterday?
• Do you enjoy dining on Big Macs, KFC, and a whole lot of crow?
• Must be able to work without contemporaneous notes or any recording devices.
• Must be willing to wait for a retainer and accept payment in rubles.
• Must have no fear of being disbarred, indicted, or possibly jailed.
• A comfortable familiarity with the undersides of buses a plus.
THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! Counsel to the Pяesidunce is the job for you!
. . . What the heck? This is one strange fitness test requirement for the White House, Chief of Staff! Aaack! :p https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=berkeley%20breathed%27s%20bloom%20county&epa=SEARCH_BOX
I appreciate BB offering up Bill but I fear that’s too great a leap. We have CoSs referring to Donnie as a “Moron” and then as an “Idiot”, and now we have the newest CoS having been caught referring to Donnie as a “Horrible Human Being” – Bill is MUCH TOO circumspect in his comments to fit this crowd!
I can see how this would work. Whenever DT’s staff start to worry that he’s getting bad advice from his less experienced advisors, they just place Bill in front of the door and cross their fingers. So far it seems to have worked on Stephen Miller and the Kushners. One anonymous staffer recently reported seeing Jared walking back to his office with his head hanging down, muttering something about "cat allergies” and “most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen.”
Mordock999 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
IMHO, the late Sam Kinison would make a BETTER Chief of Staff:
http://assets.rollingstone.com/assets/2015/list/20-people-you-wont-believe-have-grammys-20150204/items/sam-kinison-20150129/183908/large_rect/1422485592/1401×788-samkinison-1800-1390414055.jpg
Just sayin’………,
Alexander the Good Enough almost 6 years ago
As noted, there has been ongoing and substantial staffing attrition in Tяumpworld. I believe it may be time, once again, to update and post the following:
SINKING SHIP SEEKS RATS:
• Are you a lawyer who’s down on his or her luck?
• Would you like your choice of hundreds of crimes to defend?
• Did you skip most of the classes on legal ethics in law school?
• Can you write fiction “on the fly” and discover “alternative facts” extemporaneously?
• Are you fluent in Russian and are you loyal to Mother Russia?
• Have you ever been on TV, or, better, played a lawyer on TV?
• Do you have Fox pundit experience?
• Do you have experience laundering money and/or intimidating witnesses?
• Do you have an unblocked Twitter account?
• Can you indulge and counsel an unstable and obviously guilty client who is pathologically unable to follow advice?
• Can you be obsequious, fawning, and dog-loyal beyond all reason to your client?
• Can you always believe in and advocate for your client’s “truth,” even though that “truth” was completely different yesterday?
• Do you enjoy dining on Big Macs, KFC, and a whole lot of crow?
• Must be able to work without contemporaneous notes or any recording devices.
• Must be willing to wait for a retainer and accept payment in rubles.
• Must have no fear of being disbarred, indicted, or possibly jailed.
• A comfortable familiarity with the undersides of buses a plus.
THEN LOOK NO FURTHER! Counsel to the Pяesidunce is the job for you!
Contact: Bushmaster, Cobra, & Asp, LLC
Walrus Gumbo Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Bill is overqualified!
Radish... almost 6 years ago
Bill is dressed for success!
erik.vanthienen almost 6 years ago
Brilliant!
Brass Orchid Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Do we dare risk having the best Chief of Staff since Henry Halleck? Won’t it create too much envy?
cooganm Premium Member almost 6 years ago
A natural to serve the Turnip Twaddler in Chief
Dobby53 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
You mean Bill hangs on as CoS for President Pelosi?
NeedaChuckle Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Bill is a perfect fit.
Nighthawks Premium Member almost 6 years ago
rcoaster almost 6 years ago
Just what the world needs- a tongue twaddling politician.
sfletch1 almost 6 years ago
Unfortunately, he left his position early due to a tragic turnip twaddler accident.
raybrag almost 6 years ago
Great idea! Trump needs his turnip twaddled!
DCBakerEsq almost 6 years ago
Breathed is so scathing. Er, “was.” Back in the day. Now, not so much.
Andrew Sleeth almost 6 years ago
I’m planning my celebration even as I type.
ChessPirate almost 6 years ago
“Ack News!” “Ack News!” “Thppt!”
Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member almost 6 years ago
tRump roast for the holidays.
MDMom almost 6 years ago
. . . What the heck? This is one strange fitness test requirement for the White House, Chief of Staff! Aaack! :p https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=berkeley%20breathed%27s%20bloom%20county&epa=SEARCH_BOX
craigwestlake almost 6 years ago
IMHO Berke is right on the money – Just sayin’
Sheeze almost 6 years ago
best idea I’ve heard yet -
Andylit Premium Member almost 6 years ago
I nominate Bil as permanent Press secretary in perpetuity.
Radish... almost 6 years ago
Bill would do a better job than Sarah the denier. She is too dense to be transparent.
Plumbob Wilson almost 6 years ago
So what DOES happen when the last adult leaves the room?
Sisyphos almost 6 years ago
Much as I like Bill, i find him to be incompatible with the present administration.
wellis1947 Premium Member almost 6 years ago
I appreciate BB offering up Bill but I fear that’s too great a leap. We have CoSs referring to Donnie as a “Moron” and then as an “Idiot”, and now we have the newest CoS having been caught referring to Donnie as a “Horrible Human Being” – Bill is MUCH TOO circumspect in his comments to fit this crowd!
garcalej almost 6 years ago
I can see how this would work. Whenever DT’s staff start to worry that he’s getting bad advice from his less experienced advisors, they just place Bill in front of the door and cross their fingers. So far it seems to have worked on Stephen Miller and the Kushners. One anonymous staffer recently reported seeing Jared walking back to his office with his head hanging down, muttering something about "cat allergies” and “most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen.”