Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 19, 2019

Oh, Pig, hospitals are often the last place someone goes to.

Paris, Idaho, Goat?

Two minds, so close, yet so far apart. Pig’s bucket list has one item: Don’t kick it!

I just want to know where I’m going to die. Then I can stay away from there.

I just want to know when I’m going to die. Then I can stay away from then…

A good E.R. doctor is on Pig’s bucket list.

Death and the Gardener

A Persian nobleman:

This morning, my gardener pale from fright,‘Master, one moment, please’, came running inside.

‘In yonder rose-bush I was cutting shoot after shootAnd when I turned and looked, grim Death there stood.

I was appalled and by the other way I fled,But still descried his hand casting a threat.

Master, your horse, and with godspeed let me rideTo Ispahan, which I may reach ere fall of night.’

This afternoon – long after he had sped –In the park of cedars, Death it was I met.

‘Why,’ thus I asked, while he stood waiting there,‘Did you, this morn, give my servant such a scare?’

Smilingly came his reply: ‘No threat, for sure, it wasThat sent your gardener fleeing. Surprised I was

To find, in early morn, here still at work a manWho, this same evening, I am to take in Ispahan.’

(English translation of the Dutch poem, ‘_De Tuinman en de Dood_’ by P.N.van Eyck

Simple and practical, our Pig.

Paris Hilton ….. One night in Paris ;-)

As for me, I’d go a hospital in Paris!

Classic Pig. Reminds me of the strip where Rat asked him ‘If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?’, and Pig replied ‘the living one’.

Baldrick: “I don’t trust hospitals, my father went into one and came out dead!”Blackadder: “He was also dead when he went in. He’d been run over by a traction engine.”

Hell, MI. Then I can say I’ve been to Hell and back.

Pigs idea of a bucket list is KFC.

Just LOL funny!

I seem to remember….Isn’t Goat’s first name Paris??!!!

Paris is wonderful, and all. I’d rather go back to South Africa and spend my time in Kruger National Park as well as the Sabi Sands area. Being around all of those magnificent animals really makes one truly appreciate nature. I’d finish up in Cape Town and visit the wineries in the area.

That’s an instant classic.

Japan.

This reminds me of the Woody Allen quote: “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.”

They have hospitals in Paris. Right next to la patisserie.

Egypt for me

Springfield.

Apparently, he hasn’t been watching the news.

Paris, Illinois

After going where you are going to die, think of being with The Lord in Heaven – better than being in pain on Earth. John3:16

Paris, Tennessee

Pig: won. Goat: zero.

I’d go back to the land where I spent so much time in the past and see even more of it. Or maybe just to the hospital….

I’m with Pig. 3 years ago I was recovering from Legionnaires Disease. It was way too close.

I love Pig.

See Naples and die.

This is one of those rare accurances where Pig is actually being smart.

It’s after midnight. I’m tired. I’ve been drinking. I didn’t read all of the replies. Did anybody point out that Goat’s first name is Paris? Other than Pastis, I think that he’s the only character with both a first and last name.