Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 06, 2019

Don’t worry, Pig. It’s Sunday.

Alarm clocks are overrated. Most folks can wake up without one.

Only folks who deliberately screw up their sleep cycles need them, but they’re bound to croak from a heart attack anyway.

he must’ve been taking lessons from Garfield.

after pulverizing the talking alarm clock to smithereens, Pig is in heaven

Seems my everyday battle at 3:30 AM , and this happen since 1977 .

Nothing worse than an alarm clock that gives common sense advice at six in the morning.

Ignorance is bliss… unless someone else is the ignorant one. Then you hate it more than anything else.

Pig doesn’t care about food?

Merry Christmas to all my Orthodox friends, especially the members of the newly born Ukrainian Orthodox Church. And Happy Twelve days of Christmas.

Alarm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN83DfmH9Tw

Sure you’re going to Heaven, Pig?

The other place is probably 24/7 alarm clocks.

Since when did they program AI into alarm clocks? Anyway, it’s nothing to get wound up about.

My “alarm clock” scratches at the door to be let out.

Reminds me a funny thing I overheard; “My alarm goes off every morning at 6, like clockwork.”

Pig try the Larry Croc School of sleeping ;-)

Actually, good alarm clocks do go to Heaven, but alarm clock Heaven is human Hell.

Odds are there are no alarm clocks in heaven. The ‘other place’, probably ‘circles’ (as per Dante’s Inferno) where there’s acres.

The amount of sleep the average person needs is just ten minutes more…

The alarm clock has really ticked him off.

That alarm clock was too smart for its own good!

Save time for us, Pig, & donate your Bod to the Smithfield or Dietz-Watson Research Funds!

Not many people use alarm clocks to wake up anymore. Most use the alarm clock on their smartphone to wake up. Myself included

Best alarm clock: coffee pot on a timer.

If the alarm clock called me “fatty”, I would pulverize it immediately. But then I would not be able to get back to sleep.

What’s time to a pig?

only needed the alarm clock when I was oncall. You could work half the night but still needed to be in at 8 am.

There are some models designed to be thrown against the wall to shut them off.

If I go to sleep when I’m tired (around 2AM) and wake up without an alarm clock, I sleep for about 10 hours.

I’m afraid too many people identify with that cartoon strip…

It sounds like he destroyed Alexa.

Pig doesn’t know about silicon heaven, where all the toasters and radios go when they die.

♪ I got you, babe ♪

♪ I got you, babe … ♪♪

Is that alarm clock related to Garfield’s talking scale?

Who dare criticize Pig today? He has seized the moment and found a reasonable solution to the Problem of Life and Alarm Clocks….

#StopAlarmClockAbuse

The “Insultamatic 3000” AI-driven alarm clock was not as big a seller as ACME anticipated…

Where does Pig even work?

Where does pig work?

My alarm is set for twittering birds. Some might consider a tornado siren.