Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for March 11, 2019

Zonker, be glad the draft is over; those pantyhose wouldn’t have kept you out of today’s army.

Good enough for Joe Namath.

That takes me back. Remember when GOP’s made fun of Slick Willie for not serving? Now they honor Cadet Bonespurs for doing the same thing.

If your daddy was rich, you didn’t have to worry about the draft at all.

I think Donnie got his bone spurs from trying on way to many panty hose.

I remember the question on the Draft Form when Mike and Zonker went to register: “Would you be willing to go to War to protect the interests of American Oil Companies?”. Of course, the clerk at the Post Office(!) where they went to register said “Oh, don’t worry, that question’s purely hypothetical!”

Man, how prescient WAS Trudeau anyway?

I didn’t know Trump had a goatee. Maybe he shaved it off by the time he switched from panty hose to bone spurs as an excuse.

I beat the draft by getting a high enough number (147) in the 1970 draft lottery. Far too many of my high school classmates weren’t as lucky.

So Doonesbury was both entertaining and instructive even back in the day.

My number was 263 for the 1971 draft lottery. I had a 2-S deferment which meant that when I went from 2-S to 1-A in 1973 it would be my number for the 1973 draft year. Fortunately by November 1971 they had only gotten up to about 125 so I changed my status to 1-A for the last two months of 1971 thereby satisfying my obligation and becoming 1-H. Which worked out well since they ended 2-S deferments 12/31/1971 and 2-S became 1-S© where you would be able to finish the semester or academic year if a senior before reporting.

I was in the Army long before the draft lottery, but my kid brother – whose birthday was Valentines Day – was #4.

Long story short, since I’d been to Vietnam twice by the time my friendly neighborhood was trying to send him, I did everything I could to keep him out of there.

. He’d enlisted in the Naval Reserve but the draft board refused to recognize that. After a protracted battle, and some arm twisting, the Navy won out.

He no sooner got out of naval basic training, when his reserve unit was activated. He was assigned to an oiler, down in Norfolk Va. Within a month of his being on board, they were reassigned to the Pacific Fleet. He spent the majority of his time between Subic Bay and Vietnam, refueling ships on the line.

So much for avoiding the war in Vietnam. He was there when the war officially ended.

“You can still see traces of the peanut butter.”

Hahahahaha

Ah, no bone spurs letter from a podiatrist whose lease was controlled by his daddy?

Funny the things money and connections can do, even decreasing a jail sentence to less than a quarter of the guideline amount if the judge was appointed by a certain person.

“Digging down deeper in the box, we find a bottle of Karo syrup.”

Blood enemy back then, valued trade partner today. So many soldiers on both sides died for that mess.

Italian militar code : art.#21 Mental Desease and/or Drugs Addiction ; art#28 Homosexuality

Old 1970’s joke. Man goes into the draft board naked warped in an American flag. Shouts “I’m here to serve, don’t need a uniform, bullets can’t hurt me!” Sergeant replies “We can’t take you, you’re crazy.” Man “Put that in writing.”

And when the draft ended all those issues of conscience and honor disappeared like a bowl full of hash in our dorm room on Saturday night.

They didn’t work for Klinger in Korea either…

They are a LOT cleaner then the pants Cowardly Ted Nugent wore to HIS draft board…

Or, you could just go into the Selective Service office, sit down on the “Group W” bench and start singing “Alice’s Restaurant”.

Hose is very good insulator of heat.

I was dumb enough, back in the ’60s, to enlist in the Army for three years instead of waiting to be drafted for two. Seemed like a good idea at the time, anyway…

When they say “Thank you for your service,” I reply “I’d rather you say ‘Glad you made it back alive!’, if you don’t mind!”