For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for June 30, 2019

touché, Mike (what’re El and Elizabeth even doing?)

He’s right. If you’re looking for a volunteer, don’t expect it from a teenager. It’s not in their job description.

There are parents who say that most of the problems with children today would be solved if they stopped watching television or playing video games and instead spent time reading a book. John Patterson is clearly not one of those parents. He apparently prefers his children to engage in reading passive language suggestions and playing mind games.

Isn’t the passive approach seen more often in Canada?

Teenagers don’t do subtle hints, John. Especially not BOYS.

Hints won’t work John. You’ll have to tell him to get off his duff and help you.

You’d think that, being a man, John would understand that hints don’t work on the male of the species.

Michael replies… “Because I was reading a book for school?”

Instead of tap-dancing around the subject and going hint, hint, hint, dad should get the hint himself and simply say “Michael, mow the lawn. It’s getting tall”. No misunderstandings there.

We have a 16 yr old grandson just like that. You don’t ask, you tell him and he does fine. Ask, and he will even tell you No Thank You, every time.

Teens need direct action, they don’t volunteer.

Clueless in Canada

the difference between initiative, and obedience.

Why is Mike reading a book now, when I never saw him read one during the school year?

Subtlety is something that Michael doesn’t easily grasp.

This one’s obvious, but funny all the same.

Now if there was an app for lawn mowing…(yes, I know they have those robotic mowers now but have you seen the price?).

Some people just do not like tho have to “ask” every time; Michael knows all these things need to be done-just sitting around like that when his father is working is so disrespecrful.

You know it’s an old cartoon when the kid is READING!

As an organizer of small, volunteer-run events, I know that the way to get things done is to ask people directly. Hints or general requests for help rarely work. But then we’d have no punch line here!

“Ruddy?” Didn’t know that term was still in use.

Sometimes we guys really do miss the hints.

I’ll credit the kid with reading a book. +1

Parenting by hints? -1

That’s my son. Will happily do what you ask but 0 initiative to do it without being asked. Have learned to just make a list.

Geez, Passive-Aggressive much, Jon?

Kids only think about themselves. You got to ask so they can focus on something else.

Kids today huh. Couldn’t get away with that in the 50’s.

You really do have to ask him directly. Hints don’t work!

I used to be happy to get paid 50 cents to mow the lawn in the heat of the Texas Summer with a push type reel lawn mower. Times have changed!

Two sons, two years apart. The elder mowed the small front was part of his chores for his allowance. When the younger son became old enough to operate the electric mower safely, we decided they should each do half of the lawn. Older son did his side fine as usual. Younger son pushed the mower about 4 feet before he cut the cord. Dad splices it together and off he goes for another 6 feet before he does it again. To this day (they are both in their 40s,) I am still not sure if he did that deliberately. Anyway, we found other chires for him to do.

Serves him right. If you want something, ask for it in plain English, not in passive-aggressive hints.

I have to side with Michael on this one. Parents should just ask, or just plain tell, a teen to do something if they want them to do something. Sure, a kid has to learn how to volunteer, but forcing them to volunteer isn’t really that.

Then again, Michael should had have the sense to actually get off his butt, and do some work.

He’s a teenager, John: hints have to be wrapped in either a bikini or a bunker buster to penetrate.

A teenager carries out suggestions more wholeheartedly when they aren’t suggestions.

Nothing stopping John from asking Michael now.

My dad always made himself perfectly clear.

Parents need to be taught not use passive aggression. Well done, Mike. I have to reinforce this with my parents constantly. They are just so immature that I don’t know what to with them sometimes.

I find that the direct approach is best with teens

Not that anyone cares, but things grow fast in Canada because of all the extra daylight they get in the Summer. Same thing in Alaska.

Mike needs to know what a hint is! I used to have to mow our lawn. You have no idea how happy I was when my little brother got old enough to do it!!! Of course, miss priss, my sister never had to do anything! She was the favorite! My brother was the only boy & came along to our adopted father so he was pampered like a newborn babe. Thank heavens he grew out of that stage. What is said about being in the middle holds true!!!

The indirect verbal style throws me for a loop also. And if you ask such an indirect person something directly, they feel it is rude.

It is worth making an effort to work out indirect clues in some cases. Once my very indirect boss called me from a tense client meeting, and asked an arguably very stupid computer question. I answered the question by explaining how to easily get the answer to such questions.

When he got back, he explained that the stupid question was only cover for his real need, which was moral support in the face of a tough client. Which need I had only made worse.

More proof that MIchael is all male.

You just have to be more direct. “Mike, please mow the lawn.” All he is doing is hinting he wants it done. Hinting is not how to get things done.