Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for June 15, 2019

Oh great. Now Tantor can kill the poor natives during the chase.

Yes, they finally saw his genius. Making them do all the hard labor while Tarzan stands there and points.

Tarzan should sell used cars.

Tarzan probably meant to say “Now select two of your biggest suckers”.

I know Tarzan the Tarmangani intends some sort of relay race, and may even intend to participate rather than merely pointing and plotting, this time, but has he even given a moment to consider how the first runner will elude Tantor’s stompy charge and how runner two will convince the enraged rogue bull elephant to follow him instead?

We know trees are iffy, and Tantor is particularly stompy, after all.

I think this is just Tarzan’s next great “population control” idea.

This is when you want to be sure to kiss up to the chief so that he doesn’t decide you are the fastest runner in the tribe.

“Hey you! What’s your name?”

" My name? I am Run Like Turtle."

Hemu has worked his way up to second-in-command, should be safe.

“We need two men to act as decoys. Not me, of course. I work best in an advisory capacity…”

“Now, if Tantor doesn’t fall into the spiked pit, I want four more… hey, where’s everybody going?”

“Tarzan, no one runs as fast as you…”