Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 18, 2025

Gerald found your magic wand princess and he’s not happy

guess that explains the “before 12:00 midnight” thing

Gerald has a very good idea where to put her wand.

I’ve often thought about moving to Ballard Street, never seems to be a dull moment there….

Is Mary a princess or a fairy godmother?

Mary was turned down by Disney.

/// Mary’s worn a tiara since six,

but now Gerald’s been put in a fix.

She believes, (due to “Wicked”),

that a star on a stick’d

form a wand that can do magic tricks.

I’d put down a sizable bet that

When in grade school Mary was a brat

Not in the sense of being rambunctious

But of having an attitude smug and unctuous

As tattle tale she’d upon other kids rat

.

When Teacher left the classroom momentarily

She’d put Mary in charge customarily

“Now, if any student should misbehave

In this ledger his or her name engrave!”

And that is what Mary did quite merrily

.

All through her life Mary was a snitch

A goody-two-shoes and a despised b—ch

Among her co-workers she had the reputation

As one prone to Uriah Heep-ish affectation

Human Resources thought her a useful witch

.

You’d think those traits would be a barrier

To any person wanting to marry her

But one man did and to his regret

She snared him in her escape-proof net

A female spider could not be scarier

She needs a pumpkin carrriage to take to the ball? No Prince Charming in this house.

I wander what his intentions are.

No Princess was ever inepter/

Than she – tis a wonder he’s kept ‘er../

He’s afraid to sit down/

For fear of her crown/

but it’s worse when he sits on her scepter..

Gerald wishes he could turn the Princess’ phony scepter into a real magic wand that he could wave and make her disappear.

Sitting on that wand had to hurt!

I wonder what magic he can wave up!!!

There was a young lady called Mary,

A princess and wannabee fairy.

She was ever so fond,

Of her magical wand,

Which made ‘sitting’ considerably hairy!

Payback for the pea under her mattress.

Always happy to see that there is equality of the sexes on Ballard Street.

Good morning Balladeers!

♫ When you sit upon a star ♪ Makes no difference who you are ♪ It will leave an ugly scar ♪ Butt your dreams come true ♫

Mary’s a royal pain in the @ss.

I love the limericks on this page!

The 11 limericks in a single thread record has been broken and is now 12. That’s not counting P51’s poem

I reside on a small thorofare/

Where the folks evidently don’t care/

If the nation succumbs/

To the creeps and the crumbs/

Who are trying to steal their share.

A friend of mine lives on Meriwether Road.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,

How I wonder where you are,

High or low, I can depend,

Good evening, Ballard Dears!

And some people don’t believe in ferry princesses.