Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 08, 2025

mhm – you can tell she used to work as a sheep

Arleen Allen has been fasting for the past three days in anticipation of her date with Fritz Frederick.

Just put a feed bucket on her.

Good morning, Ballard Dears!

She’s a bunch of rabbits in a human suit.

/// Though Fritz never would think of confessing,

with her salad it seems he’s been messing.

Arleen lost all control,

(thrust her face in the bowl)

due to booze and the crack cocaine dressing.

She’s a firm believer in The Green New Meal.

From ”The Green Leaves of Salad”

.

A time just for chewin’, a time just for gulpin’.

A time to be out with a girl of your own.

‘Twas so good to be there then, to watch as she slurps

And to sit by your wife at the moment she burps.

.

(Apology to Dimitri Tiomkin) (And John Wayne)

There was a young fellow called Fritz,

Who’s stories would have girls in fits.

He’d take them to lunch,

Then put drugs in the punch,

A deceitful, misogynist t#t!

When the entre arrives she will disappear under the table with the meat.

According to Arlene Allen, you can never get enough roughage!

Arleen “Queen of the Garden” was orphaned when her parents, on a garden tour, became lost in a hedge maze and were eaten by voles. A family of rabbits found her and adopted her. She became a legendary protector of the garden. As a young adult she was found by a group of intrepid explorers who recognized her as the missing Lady Allen of Greystoke. Here we see her as she adjusts to human life.

Such poor manners. She has an elbow on the table.

I wouldn’t appreciate it if one of my dinner guests did that.

Arleen is still just a “miss”,

because of a specific “diss”.

Her face in a bowl, it sure takes its toll,

on prospects, who’ll only dismiss…

(But, those bacon bits are very tempting ☺)

She was taught not to eat with her hands.

Be sure not leave any spinach!

Miss Allen never had manners…..

Miss Allen likes to endive right in.

She can’t help herself…she grew up on a Rabbit farm

After she married Mr. Parker, she applied her knowledge to get Randy to eat. “How do little piggies eat? That’s right! Oink, Oink!”

Good morning Balladeers!

HAH!!!!!

Now lettuce move on to the entrée.

her date says, we can’t eat like that, and she replies, oh, yes, vegan…

☺

Miss Allen? She’s more like Mrs Ed.