Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2019

Your lawyer has a sent a cease and desist order to you to stop writing such letters to yourself.

Just like when I blew my chance to meet robert zemeckis

I hope so too, Pig. But I doubt it.

At least Rat didn’t tear up this letter.

Always look on the bright side of life … from “Life Of Brian”

Some need to learn to get out of their own way (myself included).

Maybe.

I’ve always said that, if I ever get hold of a time machine, I’m gonna go back in time, kick myself in the nuts, and say “Quit ruining my life!”

Oh, Pig, I assure you, of all the people NOT listening to you, your “me” is listening the least.

It’s a good start ME! If only I would follow my own advice!

I hate it when my small, quiet inner voice asks, “Are you really that bloody stupid?”

And I’m forced to answer, “Well, could be.”

Imagine meeting your 14 year old self & telling him that!

I’m pretty sure he is ignoring you.

I’m very good at what I do. Especially, the naughty bits.

Just like when I blew my chance to meet Ray Charles at the Detroit airport when he and his gigantic bodyguard cut the corner too short at the entrance of MY gate and when I was still nimble on my feet.

It’s really hard to avoid shooting ourselves in the foot when something that seems like a good idea at the time turns into a nuclear tipped torpedo that homes in on us.

Story of my life “seemed like a good idea at the time”

“In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol—it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.” George Best , Northern Irish footballer .

All you need is a good life coach. Of course, being Pig, he’ll be unable to find a good  one

Who hasn’t written this letter?

It’s all Pig, all the time! Methinks….

(Here we go again) What I wish I could do. Yet…………would I really?

Methinks he won’t.