Bad Machinery by John Allison for March 06, 2020

Regurgitate

Jack is hopeless.

Not impressing Mildred there, Jack.

It’s not Jack’s fault. Think of it like Lord of the Rings. The knife, like the Ring, is essentially using people to get to where it wants to go.

Remember, kids: don’t gesticulate with sharp objects. Bad things will inevitably happen.

Does British English have the term “doofus”?

Mildred’s ice-cold reaction at Jack’s accident is piercing, more so than any cursed knife would have been.

JAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! What have you done!?

… @$$

To revert to the vernacular: “what an idjit!”

He will, however, accidentally drop it.

Considering how everyone who holds it is cursed though, it might be just for the better if they just “made it lost” anyway.

I guess it was a good thing Shauna and Lottie went back up the marina, now that I think about it, or else they might have been right in the line of fire for this flood here.

Right about now Jack’s probably thinking “accidentally stabbing himself” was the preferred outcome. Even if the knife was cursed.

Don’t just stand there, Jack. Jump in and get it back.

Hey, he didn’t accidentally stab himself.

Knackered: to be tired or worn out.

It’s dammed water AND damned water.

Oopsie.

Jack! (I just wanted to join in on the fun.)

Se la Vie !!

Isn’t this flood of dammed water precisely what Sewerman Johnson said was needed to dislodge the fatberg?

Today’s headline: Taps run with red wine in Italy.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/red-wine-flows-from-taps-in-italian-town-brings-a-little-lightness-amid-coronavirus-crisis-1.4843338

Cursed fatbergs must work differently there. And stereotypically.