That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 18, 2020

For Demetrius, making fun of his Dad body were fighting words.

“I’m the king! Go forth to the land of “Lay-Z-Boy” and bring back a decent throne, for cryin’ out loud!”

“You think you’re going to conquer Troy with this ragtag bunch?”

“Show us yours and then I’ll show mine.”

“The Shirts vs Skins sword fight was yesterday. Today we’re playing chess.”

“Honey, this isn’t your skirt. I know it’s fascia, but I got it out of my closet this morning while you were still shaking the roof with your rhino snores!”

Your highness, this is the man who groped me from behind every time I bent over to tend the fire!

Looks like he uses the length of his sword to make up for size of his genitals… Prepare him for the unkindest cut!

No a Love Handle is not part of your sword.

You rip my towel off, old man, and you know I’m going to give you the shaft!

“He’ll do….. Grindr’s been a bit off lately.”

“If he tries to give me one more Wet Willie, I’m cutting his hand off”

“Say ’’Hello’’ to my little friend!”

What the… is going on in this painting? We have a half naked guy yanking his sword, a woman dressed in combat gear poking him, while a dude is sitting on a cheap plinth and the background drapes are all falling down.

I am sorry, sir, but No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service.

Listen, you got talent kid, but face it, you didn’t get the part and he did. Now get that sword back to props.

Dude in brown cloak signals Athena to throw high and inside, after umpire yells “play ball”.

“If he keeps trying to push the extended warranty on me, it’s stabbing time!”

On a hot, humid day in Corinth his majesty spake from his plinth/“You’re condemned, in one hour/ to meet Minotaur/ in the bowels of the Labyrinth”. (I just wanted to see if it could be done- it doesn’t have to make sense.)

Sir! Sir! He keeps touching my neck, sir!

Who? Me? I only came for the burning and pillaging.

Funny story you’re honor. It used to be a plowshare! What? Nothing? Tough crowd…

All right funny boys. You got my wheelchair up here. Now get it down!

I’ll run ya over with my wheel chair of death!

The woman is surprised to find a laundry instruction tag sewn on back of the guy’s neck when he’s not wearing a shirt. What could it signify?

Quarrel of Achilles and Agamemnon: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:William_Page_-_Quarrel_of_Achilles_and_Agamemnon_-_1984.153.1_-_Smithsonian_American_Art_Museum.jpg 

has info and links that point to info about this roughly B4 paper size painting. Other versions has strip coloration.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/page_william.html 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=1318 

https://americanart.si.edu/artist/william-page-3665 

https://theodora.com/encyclopedia/p/william_page.html 

https://npg.si.edu/exh/brady/gallery/68gal.html 

https://www.askart.com/artist_bio/William_Page/21351/William_Page.aspx 

http://www.avictorian.com/Page_William_1811-1885.html 

https://books.google.com/books?id=dYdWBwAAQBAJ&q=1885&pg=PA543#v=onepage&q=1885&f=false 

https://prabook.com/web/william.page/3760895 

https://pfaffs.web.lehigh.edu/node/54261 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist (again, the askart.com can be read in full for free on Fridays), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. This is the first work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2386 (February 17, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

It’s at the Smithsonian American Art Museum. It’s not on view. I can see why! This thing is just plain bad.

No, today is not ‘casual Friday’.

Oh, alright then! The magician can live… but I will kill his very silly singing, prancing assistant!! :>)

“Dude, why bother asking to borrow this Brannock Device I’m holding, if you’re not even going to wear shoes?”

Dude, what’s with the fanny pack?