Off the Mark by Mark Parisi for April 03, 2020

Is any colour really fast?

well, that’s a new wrinkle…

Of course not. Not when you have to press it again later!

Permanent press? Ha!

Don’t get steamed… but just think about the irony of it.

It makes some shirts get hot under the collar…

Look, I don’t want to buttonhole you …

but while you’re hanging here, seams like you could advocate for staying cool.

That’s right. Laundry doesn’t exist until I decide to do it! (And at that, some of the socks still don’t manage to exist.)

…don’t get your shorts in a knot…

It’s called Freedom of the Press.

Not to be confused with Bench Press – which means sometimes you get “spotted.”

It’s an issue that tears at the very fabric of their society.

Poly Ester won’t cotton questioning from members of her fold.

Existential Laundry sounds like a ’90s grunge band from Seattle.

I guess all the tights being worn nowadays are considered permanent press.

The lone sock outside the basket has not yet realized that its mate is now in the Twilight Zone.

Hahahahahaha! Good one today, Mark!

As the immortal Aretha Franklin said, “Sock it to me.”

I have had wrinkles that can not be ironed out! Cotton, on the other hand, can be dampened and ironed out!

Looks like a severe case of ED to me.

Am I missing a pun here?

Why do irons even have a permanent press setting?

I have two kinds of shirts: “permanent press” and “stylishly wrinkled”.

“Is any press truly permanent?”

It most certainly is! The first article in the Bill of Right says so.

How about Freedom of the Press?