Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 11, 2020

Life right now is an effing nightmare.

It’s a little odd for Goat to be encouraging Pig to be positive when he’s working on a martini.

Sing along with Sherlock: “When you’re down and out, lift up your head and shout, HELP!”

Pig – life doesn’t look good in the negative. Listen to Rover.https://www.gocomics.com/redandrover/2020/04/11?ct=v&cti=1213174

Now, drink this apple martini and today may feel better.

It helps by relieving the agony of uncertainty.

Only thing positive about me is my blood type.

Sure it helps, Pig…in a manner of speaking!

Life is a bowl of scorpions, and then you die!

If you can wrangle anything better than that then you are in the lucky zone!

Always look on the bright side of life

(do do, do do do do do do)

Always look on the bright side of life

(do do, do do do do do do)

Life’s a piece of XXit,

When you look at it

Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, it’s true

You’ll see it’s all a show

Keep ‘em laughin’ as you go

Just remember that the last laugh is on you

I was feeling sad and miserable, and nothing was going well, when a voice from the heavens said “cheer up, things could be worse”.

So I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.

I remember the good old days when Pastis use to try to make us happy instead of depressed. It time for PBS to go the route of Peanuts – the artist dies and all the old funny strips get endlessly recycled.

All the bars are closed where I live. So I guess Pig ain’t got it so bad.

Pig please stay away from the Debbie Downer pills ! … Croc Power !

A cocktail. Goat’s got the right idea about positive reinforcement.

It’s really GOOD not to be positive right now.

A cousin sent me this one: Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Life is what we choose it to be. As always Goat is right. When you think of all of the positives, your life will get better. #choosehappy

Take one day at a time! Who knew in the year of 2020, we would be scrambling for food, TP and hugs from our loved ones?

Unoriginal Classic joke

Life ain’t fair, bub.

Here’s a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don’t worry, be happy

In every life we have some trouble

When you worry you make it double

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry, be happy now

- Bobby McFerrin

Time to review his Dale Carnegie books, especially the one that paraphrases everyting is irie.

DID THE CROCS DIE OF CORONA? WHY NO CROCS? MISS LARRY!

It helps to know that this too shall pass

This really is a sorry excuse for a pandemic. I was promised the Zombie Apocalypse and all I got was governmental recriminations, toilet paper shortages and binge watching Tiger King.

A little humor would be nice these days and that means crocs!!Dance with who bring ya SP

Add hyenas to your menagerie to provide canned laughter.

Ha! I’ve been using that joke for years, though my response is usually “I’m positive we’re doomed”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

Life’s a bitch. Then you die. No change.

Sorry if this is a repeat; I didn’t go through all the previous comments. Anyway, I believe that this was courtesy of The Three Stooges:

“Only a fool is positive!”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive!”

You’ll get lost in there

Stay positive!

I’m positive you’ll get lost in there

Is every body ok in this horrible time in the worlds history? Im looking for some comfort.

“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation”. – H.D. Thoreau

Pig is, I suspect, what they call an idiot-savant….

you have no idea how bad life will get.