Herman by Jim Unger for April 15, 2020

“Bring me up to speed.”

Juan Valdez says he knows nothing about it.

They’re on the scow waiting to cross the Panama Canal.

Oh you wanted the Columbian stuff? I put in the order for Tanzanian

Oh and by the way has my danish left Denmark yet?

They have tables at Starbucks?

I have a corollary to Murphy’s Law – the part that says. before you can do anything, something else must be done first.

On some mornings I feel like I have to hike to the mountains, to mine the bauxite, to smelt the aluminum to build airplane, to fly to Brazil, to pick the beans when all I want is a cup of coffee.

I’ve eaten at that place before.

Plural? You mean “bean”.

She’ll be disappointed to find the tip will arrive later – much later, like next week

You’re giving me the bill already? Where’s my order? On a slow boat from China?

Still Love you Jim

Waitress: you did say that it had to be a fresh pot

You know you have to order 8 days in advance?

The chef is waiting for those special civet coffee beans…

There’s an app for that.. use the free WiFi to check it out.

At least he got to leave the house!

Zing!

At a restaurant in Atlanta and my glass of wine never arrived. I was promised free dessert as an apology. That never arrived, either.And I never returned to that restaurant.

I’m sure you just caused the delivery time to double.

One of Unger’s best!!

Not to mention that you charge too much for it. Coffee shouldn’t be as expensive when you have a meal. I can see it for just coffee or coffee and dessert.

Juan and his donkey got held up at the border.

I think his frustration has been brewing, for a while.

Take heart sir, they are almost ready for picking.