The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for April 30, 2020

I guess if he DID swallow it, he’d be like a Porsche.

(Explanation available on request.)

It’s okay. That porcupine-in-a-bottle is from Fisher Price. They make their products kid-safe.

There was a picture awhile back of a python skeleton that had swallowed a porkie.

could’ve been a prickly situation…

A point well taken!

There’s a joke at the president’s expense in here somewhere but, someone else can go for it…

What if he just chews on it?

What if it’s actually Sonic? (No, NOT the Drive In)

Mother Nature’s Porky Pod Challenge. Cleaning the gene pool made easier.

Lots of pointed comments here today.

Major Matt Sir, need more than a hint here—Befuddled!

Never eat anything bigger than your head…

“Are you watching him?” A coworker asked her husband to watch their little one while she cleaned the downstairs. They lived in a row house, where the flat porch roof was about even with the second story windows, and another couple of steps down to the street. In one of her trips through the living room, she saw a bunch of people in front of her home, looking up and making back-up motions, saying “go back, baby, go back!” She dashed upstairs to find her husband “watching” the baby though the eyes in the back of his head, while the kid had crawled out the open window and was toddling back and forth fifteen feet above the sidewalk.

I asked her when the divorce was, and she replied there wasn’t going to be one, but the funeral was next week.

If I could put spines in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do . . . (apologies to the spirit of Jim Croce).

Different version of NyQuill.

Absolutely, it’s known to cause cancer in California.

To all the commenters who claim it’s impossible for the baby to swallow that. Where there’s a quill there’s a way.

I’m not so worried about the baby as I am about the porcupine. I don’t see how he’s getting out of there.

Choking hazard.