Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for May 20, 2020

Good thing Spaceman Spiff is prepared for situations like these.

Now this is a quality way to learn subtraction.

in the imaginary world, good thing Spiff is wearing eye protection in case the rubber band were to backfire

“Bloodsucking Mutant Chromosomal Disasters” is a great name for a band

How does he know about an atom blaster yet he can’t even attempt 11 -4?

I remember when I was in school, there were a couple of girls who’d snap rubber bands at me and hit me in the mouth where it hurt! As they did so, they’d say in a musical voice, “PING!”

Now what’s Calvin, I mean Spiff going to do when he’s in the principal’s office, I mean sacrificial pit?

In Junior High I had a teacher with a zero tolerance policy on rubber bands. Any violation would result in her bringing out a plexiglass paddle that a former student made for her in shop class.

Knowing Calvin he’ll let go the wrong end…

He’s no match for Miss Wormwood. She’s packing two 3-shooters.

Yet it’s simple, Calvin. Here the easy solution:7(5 − x) + 6(3x − 2) = 9x + 7 − 11(3x − 4) 4(2x − 4) − 5(x + 1) = 11(2x + 3) − 2x = 714624

Tsk tsk tsk…

Hard core math for Calvin! Spaceman Spiff next demands a ****ing calculator and gets dispatched to the principals office!

Somehow, I think that might be the wrong answer.

Someone must have dropped Calvin on his head when he was a baby.

Let me pull up the calculator app on my phone.

Asimov had a short story about a time in the future where a man could do addition, subtraction, multiplication and division IN HIS HEAD. He was hailed as a genius or a magician. That story was written a long time ago.

in about 7 seconds he’s about to be sent to the principals office.

Remember Calvin, “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes”… all four of them.

The drugs this kid must take to live in that alternate reality must be magnificient.

Of course today, Calvin would be suspended and forced into therapy for threatening with a rubber weapon…lol

Uh-oh. He’s crossed the line.

I shudder to think about the things I shot with rubber bands as a kid: tight paper bushwhackers, folded paper clips…no eyes lost, miraculously, but plenty of red welts

Careful Spiff. You’ll violate the inter-galactic code of ethics. Bad news indeed.

Well, now we know where Calvin comes down on the ‘fight or flight’ philosophy.

Knows big words like “chromosomal.” Still can’t subtract four from eleven.

Calvin needs to learn math so he figure out the millions he’ll make sFrom Spaceman Spiff screen plays.

I think this one shows it’s from a previous time. Making a joke that even hints of violence from a student in a school isn’t very funny in today’s world, given the tragedies we’ve had since this strip was written.

Just the thought of Calvin calling his classmates and teacher “bloodsucking mutant chromosomal disasters” is too perfect.

Heh, “Reaching closer to the sacrificial pit” sounds like a lyric for an 80s or 90s pop song.

Is part of the joke that “Spiff” is a ridiculously inept name for an intrepid intergalactic adventurer? Its flatness is quite out of keeping with the elaborate fantasies that Calvin has about his alter ego’s experiences.

All he had to do was write “7”.

…and another form letter is automatically emailed to mom and dad.

Bad choice of words, Miss Wormwood.

Wait, is he narrating out loud the whole time? Can the class hear what he says in panel 1?

Come on Calvin – you have enough fingers and toes to figure this math problem out. But it will be great if you shoot Mrs. Wormwood with the rubber band as that will get you a one way ticket to the principal’s office.

Does the school district have a psychiatrist? Or did he/she quit after five minutes with Calvin to drive trucks over the ice in Canada?

Office supplies don’t kill people. Children with vivid imaginations kill people.

11-4=7