Fred Basset by Alex Graham for May 27, 2020

Is this not the God’s honest truth! Fred, you are solo lucky you don’t have to deal with that kind of thing.

Relaxing it’s not.

Well, he’s not on the phone with DAMARK. They would have message saying: “We are too busy to take your call (unless you were willing to enroll in their identity protection program) please call back between this and that times.” Guess what they would still be too busy to speak with you. Don’t know if they’re still in business.

“Your call is important to us…”

Don’t forget the irritating and tiresome jingle. Why do companies insist on playing their music at you while you’re on hold? If I want music, I’ll play my own, thank you.

And it’s loud music. Also, prone to being very modern. And let’s not even get into the announcement, every few minutes, that your business is important to them, a service representative will be with you shortly.

And when you finally get connected, someone with an accent you can’t understand asks for the same information you put into the automated system hours before.

Your call is NOT important to us

Your call is important to us, a representative will Drop Your Call shortly!

Some have the same music over and over and…..

Leave your phone on speaker and go do something else. When a human finally picks up the call, tell them you are serving someone else and to call you back in an hour.

Don’t be too proud of this phone tree terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is INSIGNIFICANT next to the power of the Dark Side of the Force when I’ve been on hold for more than five minutes.

Sometimes they should include a reminder to stay hydrated and use the washroom regularly while you wait for “the next available agent.”

Some of the muzak might be relaxing if it weren’t for the awful sound quality and the ‘your call is important to us’ interruptions.