That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 29, 2020

“Is my painting here good enough for you to put your name on it?”

“You want me to paint you like that, I’ll do it for free!”

I shall defend to the death your right to make His Majesty look like Voltaire! But for now, cherie, what do you say to a five-year journey abroad?

Instructions for unfastening the corset.

It’s going to be a long night.

Do you think I exaggerate with Photoshop in this pic?

“This is our dry cleaning bill from last month. You might want to sit down before you read it.”

‘how much do you think the tabloids will pay for this pic of meghan…?’

Here’s Turner’s original and on the easel is my interpretation

“Young man, we do not allow such behavior in this establishment. You may have this picture if you wish, but the negative is going to cost you dearly. That is, unless you want your wife to find out. Oh, and by the way ….. You are totally disgusting!”

I declare, Thurston, this prenup must have been drafted by a brain-damaged chimpanzee. If you want to marry, you simply MUST hire a competent attorney to do the work.

“Ok nice etchings. Now let’s get down to why you REALLY invited me up here.”

“I love what you’ve done in this picture, but am even more intrigued with where you’ve splattered your clothes and the way the paint runs down your…, well, the way it runs down”

It says here in “Elle” that paniers are right out next spring, so you’d better get painting because I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe!

She paints in the style of Matisse/ and she wants him to sign a release/ but he has the impression/ that she’s his possession/ and he simply insists that she cease.

She paints in the style of Gauguin/ and he simply isn’t a fan/ for t’is easy to see/ she’s more gifted than he/ but painting’s a job for a man…

She’s at least as good as Renoir/ and he tells her she could be a star/ but she won’t do a nude / (she considers it lewd)/ and she seems to be winning…so far..

I have this idea of a woman popping out of a cake, what do you think?

Politely keeping his eyes on her…..work.

“A pictorial expose~ on what you women have under those voluminous dresses! Interesting but might it not result in the end of employment for a great many little people?”

I’m sorry, what did you say? I keep thinking about how that skirt makes your butt look small.

“Glad to. So…let me mansplain how you could have handled this part better…”

“No, it’s not a puppy dog. It’s the Eiffel Tower.”

Couple with easel: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Joseph_Caraud_Paar_mit_Staffelei.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, with Google Translate added to chrome://extensions, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

https://www.richardtaylorfineart.com/artist/caraud 

https://www.galeriearyjan.com/en/caraud-joseph.htm 

https://rehs.com/eng/default-19th20th-century-artist-bio-page/?fl_builder&artist_no=87&sold=1 

all have info about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL, which indirectly points to his French Wikipedia page: 

https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Caraud 

(again, Chrome can automatically translate as necessay). First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2459 (May 27, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

I’ve decided to enter this one in the county fair. What do you think?

Needs more cowbell.

“Awww, come on! My ‘package’ is bigger than that!”

She is doing an excellent job of modeling — modeling the behavior of someone vaguely complimentary and annoyingly patronizing.

-vaguely complimentary and annoyingly patronizing-

“You are very pretty and I like the view of your breasts from here.”

Julie invited Eric up to her apartment to view her art, it wasn’t what he wanted to view.

We complain that the wonderbra indicates there is more than “fits the bill”? Compared to corsets and skirt hoops of yesteryear? We are amateurs.

Yes, that is what I want to eat. And please, make sure they deliver quickly …

You’re out of tune, Emily. That’s a B flat.

“And here is another painting by my daughter. She did this one last year, in kindergarten.” What a guy has to put up with to get some.