Herman by Jim Unger for October 01, 2020

The problem is you’ve been over feeding him

That’s what you get for living next to a nuclear power plant.

A version of the Flying Circus’ Dead Parrot sketch?

For the younger crowd unfamiliar with it, it is worth a youtube view.

The “Dead Parrot Sketch”, alternatively and originally known as the “Pet Shop Sketch” or “Parrot Sketch”, is a sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus about a non-existent species of parrot, called a “Norwegian Blue”. A satire on poor customer service, it was written by John Cleese and Graham Chapman and initially performed in the show’s first series, in the eighth episode (“Full Frontal Nudity”, which first aired 7 December 1969).

The sketch portrays a conflict between disgruntled customer Mr Praline (played by Cleese) and a shopkeeper (Michael Palin), who argue whether or not a recently purchased parrot is dead.

Um… Miracle-Gro is for plants, mister.

and some kind of high energy gerbil food. Thanks a lot.

Ahhh, the opposite of the “dead parrot” sketch (Monty Python reference).

Is the name Willard?

So that’s what happened to our wombat.

The neighborhood dogs are terrified of Gerald, the giant gerbil.

It was a small gerbil at the time.

He would make a great Disney character…….

Weird Al Yankovic – Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters From a Planet Near Mars.

“That’s a free range gerbil you have there. They can get considerably larger than your regular gerbil.”

Bet he outgrew that cage and exercise wheel in a hurry.

Was the previous owner’s name Helen B. Narbon, by chance?

Don’t complain just get a bigger gerbil wheel, hook it up to a generator and you’ll have free electricity.

“I’m sorry you misunderstood. Not G-E-R-B-I-L, it’s a G-E-R-B-U-L-L. A cross between a German shepherd and a pit bull.”

Don’t blame us if it got into your steroids.

Rodney Dangerfield worked in a pet store.

He said people kept asking how big he would get.