Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for October 12, 2020

That looks like the pirate from those old ads, I think it was an ad for a so-called art school and you were supposed to draw him. John Graziano might just get in!

Pirates wore gold earrings to pay for their funerals.

A pirates earring pulled on their ear lobes thus also pulling their eyelids up. BTW, did you know that in Britain if you are and Earl and somehow get awarded an OBE, you turn into an Earlobe?

This End Up did the same thing with their computer cabinet unit. I intend to be put to rest in mine.

So the Swiss don’t like doing shift work?

That was how pirates carried their monocle when they weren’t using it.

You bought the bookcase in the 80’s. 2020 rolls around, “Where the hell did I put those coffin instructions?”

Some books are Worth Dying For, eh?

I thought the eye patch was for that… and now that I think of it… they wore makeup… lace underwear… yeah! sure! it’s to improve eyesight… :D

The earring showed that you had survived a shipwreck.

One casket said to the other, “Is that you coughin’?”

Take care and gesundheit.

Illegal flights?

I’d heard that pirates wore gold earrings to pay for their burial should their plundering days end at the point of someone’s sword.

So…books are dead?

Pirates wore a patch over their eye not because they were blind, but to keep it dark-adapted so they were not vulnerable when they went below deck.

IKEA has the same thing, it’s on SALE! And it comes with the authentic CDC manual for handling pandemics.

The Swiss Air Defense is also their outer space agency. They previously announced traveling to the Sun, but at night so they wouldn’t burn up.

Had their eyesight not been so bad those pirates would have read that it was nose rings that improve aim.

The coffin looksLike something IKEA would make

I’ll keep that in mind next time I plan to bomb Switzerland.

That coffin/bookcase is a great idea as long as the assembly instructions are not misplaced prior to death.

On the other hand, the majority of pirates complained about ringing in the ears…

It improves your eyesight by giving you a circle to aim at…

The plus of the coffin bookcase is that when you die and are shipped off in it, the library books it held for decades can be returned with no “fines” payable by you!