Looks Good on Paper by Dan Collins for December 16, 2020

The North Pole Foreign Legion

War is elf.

Make something of yours-elf. Build elf-esteem. Don’t get sh-elved and live out your days on w-elf-are, join TODAY.

What’s to tell, and why do you want to know?

Another of Santa’s signs reads, No Politics at the Pole!

Don we now our gay apparel?

Don’t be elfish, be an elf on a shelf, be a spy for Santa!

This is sure to offend some folks, but I think it’s serendipitously funny.

It’s been a tough year for trolls, orcs and garden gnomes. No one is hiring :(

If your policy is “Don’t ask don’t tell” then how so you generate the naughty and nice lists?

The elves are in partnership with the half elf Santa. Most of the work is done by automation and molecular engineering. The Light Elves (Svartálfar) are like Tolkien showed. The “real” way they were not to be confused with faeries.

As punishment when he dies his soul will be put into the body of Trumpus to work with Krampus to punish all the bad boys and girls. Both made by the Dark Elves (Dökkálfar) gleaned from the information from CHULA-VARUNA’s Eyes of Judgement to see the naughty and the nice. The smell of rotting flesh and brimstone lets you know they are near.

Santa means saint. Claus = Klaus = short for Niklaus = Nicholas, which is, in English, often shortened to “Nick.” Santa Claus. Sankt Niklaus. St. Nick. The same name, the same meaning, all across the board.

Can I join even if I’m 4-elF?