Close to Home by John McPherson for December 31, 2020

Here’s the BIG money prizes just for taking s short survey!

Buy more to save more. The American pension plan for the 21st century.

hey i could use the Zaft coupon a few times. If anyone doesn’t need it send them to me. I’ve got 7 of those jackets to clean.

Muffler place is good, first 4 are all off so half is better than nothing,

Mmmmm….ketchup pie….(barf)!

I was in a store the other day, an older couple were complaining about the sale where you had to buy 5 items on sale to get the dollar off per item. They said they couldn’t use that much. Those sales are ridiculous. 5 twelve packs of soft drinks to get special price?

Blech! Ketchup pops and ketchup pie? Actually, there’s an episode of That Girl where the girl went to an automat (basically a cafeteria but you got everything out of machines) and didn’t have enough money to buy food. She found she could get free hot water and free ketchup. So she made “tomato soup” out of ketchup and water. Blech.

Brown plaid sports coat eh?

Hello, Johnson… is the Director around anywhere? I’d like to speak with him.

Uh, Mr. Mac, sorry for the disarray sir, it appears there’s been a bit of an… umm, “incident” of sorts, sir… it seems Mr. Bleeb, was, uh, last seen dragging the director by the leg, off to those trees behind the lot, and neither of them have been seen since! They said it was quite a sight, sir… to see a bug, er, I mean, something that small, dragging a grown man kicking and screaming, sir. I guess it was quite a sight… it must be the alien thing that gives him that strength, sir.

Sure, sure! That’s most unfortunate about the director, but we must carry on, Johnson… we’ll just have to continue on without the director or Mr. Bleeb!

Well sir, I’m certain Mr. Bleeb will return, he always seems to! But, I’m not sure I can say the same for the Director, sir!

Well, it’s certainly a loss, but Bleeb’s the talent anyway, so that’s all that’s important! Besides, you’ve done a fantastic job around here, why don’t you take a shot at Director? Say, what is that strange alien smell, Johnson?

That sir… is the smell of victory, sir! (Heh-heh)… it kind of “pleases the nostrils” doesn’t it, sir?

Nope, not really… it kinda smells like bourbon and Aqua Velva! Oh, by the way, I’ll be on vacation for the next week, but you won’t be able to reach me…. when I’m on vacation, I go over and mow Dobie’s lawn and clean up the landscaping around his house. シ

This ends the holiday play… with special thanks to the players:

DIRECTOR – Himself

JOHNSON – Johnson

ALIEN-BUG – Bleeb

DOBIE – Dobie fueled by Red Bull®

(Thank Dog it’s over, ‘cause I’m outa Red Bull and starting to get a little dyslexic!)

Nice coupons from companies who don’t want to be bothered with accepting coupons.

Kind of like those coupons for .30 off…not worth your time.

Pet Alley must have a lot of parakeets they want to get rid of. I want to know what Potato Hut ~ under Zaft Dry Cleaners ~ is offering.

That ketchup one is especially funny. Yuck!! Unless french fries are included.

That looks about normal for the last Entertainment book I had

Buy three puppies, get the fourth one free!

our market had hamburger in 2 LB. packages. I asked the butcher if he could make me a 1Lb package and he took a 2 Lb package and stuck a 1/2 price sticker on it and handed it to me.

One free ketchup pop with the purchase of a pair of white silk gloves