Last Kiss by John Lustig for January 04, 2021

Let me introduce myself.

Can I get to know her?

I can’t remember who said it. "My goal last year was to lose 10 pounds. Only 24 to go.’

she should probably also resolve not to look like lucille ball…

Ah ha. The original art made her look to be a goldfish, too! B^D

Only Once?

Will she marry people she doesn’t know?

I love that plan, but I want to lose 50 pounds and only gain 5 back.

I can only try the optimistic line. It’s the most realistic.

Getting alimony isn’t on the list this year?

List of things to come in this comic for 2021

Get married. You’ll then have sex with someone you know. You’ll get pregnant and gain 10 lbs. When you give birth you’ll lose at least 5. Your husband will leave you for his secretary. You’ll be optimistic that he’ll come back to you; but you’ll remain a bitter single mom, and your life will suck. Did I miss anything?

This year I resolve to lose 10 pounds and not gain any back!

Be my pessimistic self!

Practice safe sex, only when I’m in the mood!

Never get married again! You don’t have to hit me in the head twice to realize I don’t need to depend on a man to be happy!

Just don’t lose the 10 pounds from the wrong places.

Just stay positive about how bad life sucks.

Does she know other women?

If more that once will it be at the same time?

Today I start my exercise program. Eat healthier. Lose 30 lbs. Wish me luck my friends. Stay safe and well.

only have sex with people I know if I’m sober…

“And I want to see if, this year, I can finally win the Best Robert O’Reilly Lookalike Contest.

She: This year I resolve to have safe casual sex and be optimistic about it and pretendI’m on my honeymoon.

“… basically, to cut back.”

Marry in haste, repeat at leisure.

Hmmm… Sounds like my twenties.

poor shumck

Did Kellogg invent cereal monogamy?… (I’m back! Little stint in the hospital)

She kind of looks like Lucille Ball…?

— I will join an athletic club and strive to sexercise more.

— I will strive for discipline and be spanked more.

— I will consume more fruit juice, especially liquefied fermented Riesling grapes.

Resolve not to lose any weight due to hyperactive tendencies and workaholic idiocy.

I hope to lose about 150 pounds. Hopefully she won’t find me this time…